Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, March 19, 1990 TAG: 9003192522
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: A3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Teach kids while they stuff their faces with lunch. Fork them civics. Spoon-feed them geography. Serve up a bit of Virginia history.
All across the commonwealth this week, students will be washing down Carroll County coleslaw with George Washington grape juice. There will be Smithfield sausage patties, Appalachian oatmeal and Cavalier orange juice. They'll delight at Tidewater fish on a bun, Monticello milk and Shenandoah Valley turkey.
It's all part of Virginia Agriculture Week, which we're celebrating with the slogan "Take a Bite of Virginia." It's a play on "Take a Bite, Virginia", a common phrase in 49 other states.
For all of this, we have Jane Parks to thank. She runs the food service for Bedford County schools, and last year she was among the engineers of this event.
"We wanted to raise the kids' awareness of food grown in Virginia and to recognize Virginia food products," said Parks.
She admits to coming up with some of the names.
History gives us Patrick Henry pancakes and Martha Washington fried chicken with roll.
The Tyler shredded lettuce is a tad more controversial. Is it appropriate to honor the nation's 10th president, the man who annexed Texas, with minced salad?
Too, there is the thorny issue of James Polk peas: President Polk was from North Carolina, and here he is honored on a Virginia school lunch menu. It is preposterous, and all students will, I hope, catapult a spoonful of the legumes across the cafeteria to protest Jane Parks' gaffe.
Geography contributes Eastern Virginia corn dogs, Richmond rolls and Daleville baked apples.
But perhaps the most important element of the gastronomic curriculum this week is current events.
When the food fights end and the last piggie in a blanket rolls to a stop, at least the kids will know who is governor.
They will have eaten Doug Wilder pizza. It looks spicy and exciting but really tastes as bland as grits.
There is, claims Parks, "no connection between the status of the namesake and the popularity of the food. We did whatever sounded catchy."
Baliles brownies? They taste good while you're chewing, but when you've finished, you learn all about tooth decay.
Mary Sue Terry Tater Tots? Preheat electric chair to 2,600 volts, brown and execute. Serves the interests of the people.
Roanoke County gelatin? (I did not make this up.) Remind you of a few county supervisor backbones during the consolidation negotiations?
Try to escape this educational dining experience by fleeing to Eagle Rock in Botetourt County. The school there won't be participating - or so it thinks.
Tuesday's lunch in Eagle Rock will be glazed meatballs. What better reminder of the General Assembly's role in the commonwealth?
When the eating is done, the children will gather in the lavatory to light up one of their Mecklenburg Marlboros.
Hey, this is Virginia and this is agriculture week.
You can't leave out tobacco.
by CNB