
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: TUESDAY, June 12, 1990                   TAG: 9006120373
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A-7   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Sue Lindsey
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

SHE'LL MISS WRITING, BUT IT'S ANOTHER STEP IN LIFE'S JOURNEY

THE YOUNG woman is facing a decision that will shape the direction of her life, and she's putting it off. She finishes her schooling this week, and she doesn't know what she's going to do next. She's in mental limbo.

Those who are close to her, myself included, would like to see some action, or at least a plan. In my case, the motive is selfish. If she knew what she wanted to do, I wouldn't have to try to figure it out. I've had ideas about what I thought she ought to do next, but at this point I'm not choosy. If she wants to continue her education, fine. If she wants to work, fine. Almost anything will ease my mind.

While I'm impatient to have this young woman's life course set, I can relate to her reluctance to declare her intentions. I have done the same thing at some of life's crossroads. For fear of making the wrong choice, I've delayed making any.

But is any such decision really "wrong"? I have taken jobs and pursued studies that weren't right for me, but they have taught me more about who I am and what I like to do than so-called "right" choices. If I'm good at something, I may not realize it because it comes easily.

I heard it said recently that success in life is the journey, not achieving a particular goal. I believe we each get inner direction to find our own way, so I know I really can't put my young friend on the path that's best for her. Support from knowledgeable people is helpful, but too much advice from the outside can garble the inner messages.

I know this because I made a career decision myself recently that many people don't understand. I'm returning to this newspaper's copy desk, an assignment I had before I became an editorial writer. It means I no longer will write editorials. This column is my last, at least for a while.

I will miss writing. The column has taught me a lot - about myself, and about human nature. I will miss hearing from people who were touched enough (one way or the other) by what I wrote to call or write.

I also will miss having a voice on issues that are of particular concern to women. I believe this newspaper ought to have at least one woman editorial writer. Without a woman's perspective, many social issues go unaddressed.

I had to do a lot of soul-searching before I could reach the decision that the woman's voice in the editorial department no longer had to be mine. I got a lot of advice, both directly and indirectly, to stay put. But an inner voice was telling me it was time to take a different direction.

I marvel at people whose lives seem to progress in orderly fashion. Perhaps in some cases it's appearance more than reality. From the outside, my life probably looks in good order. But from the inside, I've felt its fits and starts. I've found that what's right for a time may not be right forever.

I also admire people who don't mind going against conventional wisdom to do what they know they are good at. A friend's son who just received his college degree is giving up a good-paying office job because he's happiest in construction. More power to him.

I couldn't be absolutely sure ahead of time that my job change would be the "right" decision. I'm in the midst of a leap of faith, just as my young friend will be one of these days. It's both exciting and frightening.

My current assignment may not last forever, either, but I don't know what will happen next. I'm more content if I don't try to figure out what I think ought to happen - in my life or anybody else's. I do know that as long as I'm committed to life's journey rather than a goal, change seems to be inevitable. I wouldn't have it otherwise.

by CNB