Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, February 23, 1991 TAG: 9102230010
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: E-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Most people would abbreviate that and say they were being tested by life, but I am an English major and I like to show off.
My notes show that I am tested on an average of three times a week.
I am not counting the daily reading of my horoscope, which predicts all kinds crazy stuff - as in saying it was probable a good-looking member of the opposite sex would ask me out.
Suffice it to say that this past week went by without a single blonde bombshell making decent or indecent proposals to me next to the mayors' monument in Elmwood Park, where I rest halfway through my walk.
Let me just add here that I am old enough to be the father of your average blonde bombshell and that very few of these young ladies appear to be attracted to the mayors' monument.
I was tested Monday when I, along with two very high-ranking executives on this newspaper, took part in a spelling bee - in public, for pete's sake.
I will not go into further details here.
Perhaps, when time has blurred the memory, I will be able to talk about it.
On Tuesday, I called the bank to ask about this 1099 form I got.
This form, as you know, deals with interest income that, in this case, is a small amount but we Beagles have a passion for accuracy when we pay our taxes.
I listened to that canned music that reminds you of Nelson Eddy and Jeannette MacDonald, and was disconnected twice.
A young lady, who probably is a bombshell and did not ask me for a date, eventually came on the line. I pretended to understand everything she said, but my 1099 is still confusing me.
Wednesday morning, I stopped worrying about my 1099 and glanced at the oil gauge on the Cherokee and saw that either it was dead or that there was no oil in the engine.
I know as much about engines as I do about 1099s, but I checked and found the oil was still there where it was supposed to be.
I was feeling smart and even a little macho until somebody who knows about engines suggested the oil might be where it was supposed to be because the oil pump was broken.
I know what to do at times like that. I screamed and called the garage and they put in a new oil gauge switch.
I haven't been tested since then and I have figured out my 1099.
If things stay quiet, I may be able to talk about that spelling bee by Tuesday after next.
by CNB