Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, February 25, 1991 TAG: 9102250324
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: A3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: ROBERTA ENGLISH STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
"This boy in my class said he had three cousins and an uncle over there and started crying," said a second-grader at Westside Elementary School. "He cried so much he threw up."
Counselors in Roanoke schools have taken an additional burden and formed support groups for these students.
"Students bring a lot of baggage to school," said Sue Gallimore, a counselor at William Fleming High School. "They see their families being torn apart."
"Usually when a student is worried they feel it in their stomach," said Sue Mitchell, a counselor at Westside. "These kids feel it in their hearts."
The biggest fear is that one of their loved ones will be killed. They are anxious, depressed, can't sleep and can't study, Gallimore said.
Support groups help empower the students to handle crisis.
"We want to make the kids feel strong so they can cope," Mitchell said.
At Garden City Elementary School, where about 12 students have relatives in the gulf, counselor Polly Wilson spent the first support-group meetings showing students the Middle East on maps, giving historical background and explaining why U.S. forces are there.
Although they want students to understand the war, counselors are careful not to expound any political viewpoints.
"We try to help them see all sides so they understand the complexities of the issues," Wilson said. "No one side is all right or all wrong."
In weekly 45-minute sessions, Wilson teaches students relaxation techniques that they can use at home and in the classroom. Students keep journals and share their entries with the group at meetings.
About 30 students at Westside have close family members in Saudi Arabia. Mitchell encourages students to write letters together.
They also discuss the various jobs that servicemen and servicewomen have in the gulf.
"When they hear that [an Air Force] pilot was captured, it helps to let them know that their relative is in the Navy," Mitchell said. "It decreases the stress for that particular child."
Guilt plays a large factor in the behavior of the students. Many students feel that if they aren't always thinking about their loved ones that something will happen to them.
Counselors tell students not to watch the news all day. They are encouraged to ride bikes, play video games or do any fun activity that will keep their minds off their pain.
"We want them to take the best care of themselves and do their best jobs in school to make that person in the gulf proud," Mitchell said.
Elementary students are feeling additional pain when they come to school and are taunted and scared by other classmates.
"One of my friends came up to me and said my daddy's going to get killed in the war," a third-grader at Westside said. "She said, `You know he is, you know he is,' and I said, `I don't know nothing.' "
Mitchell spent a good deal of her first session telling the children how to deal with cruel classmates.
The support groups allow children to form relationships with others who understand their feelings and who won't tease them, Mitchell said.
Support groups at high schools serve mainly as a time students can cry and vent their anger and fears.
"Our seniors are worried about a draft," Gallimore said. More than 40 students at William Fleming have ties to the gulf.
Gallimore lets students know that there isn't a draft and gives them information about what would happen if one were implemented.
"We let them know that every job in the military is not infantry," Gallimore said. "There are safer places, like carriers and tanks."
The number of students with immediate family members in the gulf is increasing rapidly, said Lou Talbutt, supervisor of guidance for Roanoke schools.
Although there have been no casualties from Roanoke, counselors say they are prepared to provide death therapy sessions.
Because of severe budget cuts, school officials fear that these programs won't continue because of possible reductions in staff.
"So many children have a need," said Mary Hackley, director of elementary education. "This is not the time to cut it out."
Wilson said students say they are sleeping better, more relaxed and concentrating more on their studies as a result of the groups. She said programs will continue as long as needed.
"When children learn strategies to deal with stress, they model them at home," Wilson said. "They encourage parents to deal with their problems the same way."
by CNB