Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: TUESDAY, March 5, 1991                   TAG: 9103050043
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: E-1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

WHO EVER SAID WORK WAS GONNA BE FUN?

That part about Radford is a lie. We didn't really say "taken aback" to show that we were startled at something. We usually said something like, "Gosharootie, you all see that there?"

Sorry. I don't know what came over me. I promise the rest of this will reek of the truth.

And the truth is that I didn't think you were supposed to have a whole lot of fun in your job - whether you are at the peasant or management level.

Think about that. Most of us never signed up and heard the boss say: "Well, we're certainly going to see to it that you have a lot of fun here, young man. Incidentally, this is Rosetta. She'll show you the ropes, if you know what I mean."

Be honest now. Did you, or anybody else in your office, even once start dancing in the aisles in the pure joys of employment and belonging?

Or maybe compose a rap song to honor your boss?

You bet you didn't. You'd have been out on your ear before the next coffee break.

I realize that I am somewhat overstepping the bounds of propriety - a phrase we never used in Radford - because I am not management.

But a job is a job, as we really did used to say in Radford, and I think that if George Washington had intended for all of us to be happy in our jobs, he'd have said so.

I don't think, for example, that George was all that happy with his job as president of the United States.

But let's get on here with these unhappy management types.

The survey found that women are having less fun than men. I just threw that in to make sure nobody thinks I'm sexist.

All right, I've got to ask all of you CEOs out there this piercing question: If you big wheels aren't having any fun, what do you suppose is happening down there with the peons?

Well, I can tell you this much, fellows, we are not gathering rosebuds and/or singing wonderful hymns of praise for you guys.

I mean, we are not exactly going home and saying:

"Wow, Imogene! You should have seen the time we had at the office today. Rosetta, our immediate supervisor, showed us this new dance and the big fellow told us some of the best jokes you ever heard. Whew, boy! I can hardly wait to get back to the office.

"And people ask me why I sing while I'm shaving in the morning."

Nope. In fact, the only dance Rosetta will do is on this guy's head if he so much as speaks to her.