SOME LOST FILMS SHOULD STAY LOST

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, February 12, 1992                   TAG: 9202120134
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: 
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Long
SOME LOST FILMS SHOULD STAY LOST
"Kiss Me, Stupid" is a "lost" Billy Wilder film that many of his fans have been looking forward to for a long time.
This comedy had only a limited theatrical release when it was made in 1964. The critics dismissed it, and it disappeared quickly. But over the years it developed a sort of phantom reputation for being racy and risque. A few people said it had been unjustly slighted, and no one could argue because hardly anyone had seen it.
Unfortunately, the critics were right. This one is virtually unwatchable.
Dean Martin plays himself, sort of, at his smarmiest. He's Dino, a Las Vegas lounge lizard, who stops for gas and cigarettes in the little town of Climax. That establishes the level of humor, and the script by Wilder and long-time collaborator I.A.L. Diamond never strays from it. The town is home to Orville (Ray Walston) and Barney (Cliff Osmond), two struggling song writers.
They sabotage Dino's car so he'll have to spend the night and listen to their stuff. But they have to keep him away from Orville's wife (Felicia Farr). To do that, they pay the town "cocktail waitress" Polly (Kim Novak) to impersonate her and keep Dino occupied.
From that less-than-scintillating premise, the story dissolves steadily and slowly, very slowly. This bow-wow is more than two hours long. The muddy black-and-white photography doesn't make it move any faster. As for racy and risque, imagine a tame episode of "Married . . . With Children."
Dedicated Wilder fans will have to take a look. They'll find, though, that they could do much better with some of his other work. Wilder has been a prolific filmmaker who has tried his hand successfully at several genres. Here are seven favorites, another "lost" classic and a complete videography.
\ "Double Indemnity" is the definitive film noir. It's been reviewed here recently, so there's no need to go into the details. It's a terrific story of passion, betrayal and murder. Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck and Edward G. Robinson were at their best. This is one of those rare movies that gets better the third or fourth time around.
\ "Witness for the Prosecution" is a different kind of mystery, a courtroom drama. Everything about the film works. The plot, based on an Agatha Christie play, is believably tricky with just the right number of twists and surprises, and the cast couldn't be better: Charles Laughton, Elsa Lancaster, Tyrone Power and Marlene Dietrich.
\ "Sunset Boulevard" may well be the most cynical movie ever made about Hollywood and the industry itself. From the opening shot, in which we learn that a dead man is about to narrate the story, to the grand conclusion on the staircase, this is the most bizarre trip through Tinseltown any of us is likely to take. Again, the casting is perfect: William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich von Stroheim.
\ Holden and Wilder teamed up again for "Stalag 17," a complex World War II prisoner-of-war tale. It's short on derring-do and great escapes. The focus instead is on the men's characters. Holden won an Oscar.
\ "The Seven Year Itch" will always be remembered for the famous image of Marilyn Monroe with her skirt being blown by the subway breeze. Beyond that, it's still a thoroughly enjoyable comedy. But the next time she and Wilder worked together, they created one of the all-time greats,\ "Some Like It Hot."
It's Wilder's masterpiece, a comedy that's fast-paced, funny, smart and sexy. Monroe never looked better, but she couldn't steal the screen from Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon. Joe E. Brown has the most famous closing line in movie history.
\ "The Spirit of St. Louis" is certainly not Wilder's best, but so what? With Jimmy Stewart playing Charles Lindbergh in an old-fashioned story of American heroism, it's pointless to be critical.
The "lost" Billy Wilder movie yet to be released on tape is "The Big Carnival," also known as "Ace In the Hole." The 1951 film is another cynical story of success, stardom and death. It's about a reporter (Kirk Douglas) who exploits an accident to make his way back into the big time.
Like all of Wilder's best movies, there's a strong dark quality to the story that will put off some viewers. But it's a side of humanity that popular entertainment seldom considers. To deny that it exists is sentimental and unrealistic, and those are vices that Wilder has seldom been accused of.

THE ESSENTIALS\ Kiss Me, Stupid a23,9.5,10 MGM/UA 120 min. Rated PG for subject matter.
All others are unrated and contain no objectionable material.
\ Double Indemnity 1/2 MCA 107 min.
\ Witness for the Prosecution CBS/Fox. 114 min.
\ Sunset Boulevard Paramount. 100 min.
\ Stalag 17 Paramount. 120 min.
\ Seven Year Itch 105 min. FoxVideo.
\ Some Like It Hot 120 min. CBS/Fox.
\ Spirit of St. Louis 137 min. Warner.\ \ BILLY WILDER VIDEOGRAPHY
\ The Apartment (1960) MGM/UA
\ Buddy, Buddy (1981) MGM/UA
\ Double Indemnity (1944) MCA
\ The Fortune Cookie (1966) CBS/Fox and MGM/UA
\ Irma La Douce (1963) CBS/Fox and MGM/UA
\ Kiss Me, Stupid (1964) MGM/UA
\ Lost Weekend (1945) MCA
\ Love in the Afternoon (1957) FoxVideo
\ One, Two, Three (1961) MGM/UA
\ The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970) Key
\ Sabrina (1954) Paramount
\ Seven Year Itch (1955) FoxVideo
\ Some Like It Hot (1959) CBS/Fox
\ Spirit of St. Louis (1957) Warner
\ Stalag 17 (1953) Paramount
\ Sunset Boulevard (1950) Paramount
\ Witness for the Prosecution (1957) CBS/Fox
\ New release this week: Double Impact: 1/2 Stars Jean Claude Van Damme, Bolo Yeung, Cory Everson. Directed by Sheldon Lettich. Rated R. 104 minutes.
Strictly for fans of karate movies with more emphasis on action than acting. Van Damme plays vengeful twins loose in Hong Kong. Fun in a B-grade way.\ What the ratings mean:
Memorable. One of the best of its kind; maybe worth owning.
Outstanding. An excellent video, worth searching out.
Average. You've seen better, you've seen worse, but if it sounds interesting . . .
Poor. This is why your VCR has a fast-forward button.
A waste of time and an insult to your intelligence. More a warning than a rating.

by Bhavesh Jinadra by CNB