Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, February 14, 1992 TAG: 9202140323
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ed Shamy
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
THEY LOVE THIS STUFF IN LYNCHBURG
The postman cometh:Dear Ed, "I've never met you and I hope I never do. . . . The only thing I regret is that someone didn't trip the handle while you were in Narrows and let you go down the drain with that companion brown stuff."
B.B., Narrows.
Hey B.B., There were plenty of offers. Hope to meet you soon.
\ Dear Ed, Writing about Virginia Tech football coach Frank Beamer "took guts! You will be inundated with mail. Hoagies do not like a critical analysis of their reasoning process or lack of it . . ."
M.F., Salem.
Dear M.F., C'mon, gimme a break. Nobody feels THAT strongly about football.
\ Dear Ed, "Judging from your article where you discuss Frank Beamer's achievements as head football coach at Virginia Tech, I am not surprised you are still waiting to hear from The Washington Post regarding possible employment; may I suggest that you not hold your breath . . . if you had a modicum of intelligence. . . . Your writing suffers from a writer's worst failing: it's trite; moreover, I sense a mean streak in your writing. . . . When did you reach your level of literary incompetence?"
T.A., Silver Spring, Md.
Hey T.A., Apologies to M.F. (see above). He was right.
\ Dear Ed, "Just wondering if you could tell me where I could sell a one-owner, low-mileage, electric-start snow blower. A Toro! I figure I could give it to the Science Museum so little schoolkids could see what a snow blower looks like. Any ideas?"
H.Y. Roanoke.
Dear H.Y., Ha! You knew I'd save your snide commentary on global warming until the day after the season's first blizzard!
| Dear Ed, "While many of us, including myself, take many items to the recycling center, there is a movement that undermines us. People are switching from the use of heavy-duty garbage cans to plastic bags that will lie in the landfill forever. . . . I'm not giving my name because I don't want trouble with my neighbors."
A reader, Roanoke.
Dear reader, Courageous and outspoken members of our community like you can crush this planet-threatening move toward insidious plastic bags. Start with your neighbors.
\ Dear Ed, ". . . We think you're great in Lynchburg . . ."
M.B., Lynchburg.
Dear M.B., I have been in Lynchburg only twice. Pity the Roanokers who live with me every day. Many hold an opinion dramatically different from yours.
\ Dear Ed, "Here is my contribution to help send Robert Hager to the World Pepper Eating Championship [Feb. 22]. The possibility of a Virginian winning the championship, in Texas no less, is a true cultural coup."
C.J., Norfolk.
"Eat 'em up, Robert."
J.M., Daytona Beach, Fla.
Dear C.J. and J.M., As Champ Hager's official pepper-eating trainer, I can assure you that your contributions to his trek to Laredo next week are well-spent. He is in mint pepper-eating condition. Some butt we will kick.