HOW TO HELP NEWLY DIVORCED FRIENDS

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, February 16, 1992                   TAG: 9202140229
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: E-3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: JOE KENNEDY STAFF WRITER
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short
HOW TO HELP NEWLY DIVORCED FRIENDS
When people separate or get divorced, they have to move through the grieving process and learn how to go on with their lives.
Friends can help, but they often don't know how.
Chuck Rife of Total Life Counseling in Roanoke offers these suggestions for lending support to newly single friends:
\ Be a good listener.
\ Don't feel that you always have to have an answer.
\ Allow for tears.
\ Be honest about yourself - when the conversation makes you uncomfortable, say so. If you want to refrain from contact for a time so your friend can gain some perspective, say so. Don't just disappear.
\ Remember that you can still have fun together. Do something that doesn't relate to the problem at all.
\ Don't try to change the friend or the situation. "We cannot change, cure or control other people," Rife says, "but we can contribute to them."
\ Encourage the person to get involved in church, a social group or divorce support group.
\ When the divorcing person's problem seems beyond your grasp, refer him or her to professional counseling.

by Bhavesh Jinadra by CNB