IF YOU WANT ACTION, HERE'S WHERE TO LOOK

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, February 26, 1992                   TAG: 9202260013
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: MIKE MAYO CORRESPONDENT
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Long
IF YOU WANT ACTION, HERE'S WHERE TO LOOK
This week, we've got two new action flicks - one for vidiots and one for vidiettes - and some good news for Betaphiles. But first, a little history:
Years ago, while standing in line for half-price tickets to a Broadway show, I was asked to criticize a pilot for a TV series.
This had nothing to do with my profession; the network functionary was handing out passes to all the out-of-town bargain-hunters there. The pilot in question was "Falcon Crest." I remember virtually nothing about it beyond this scene:
Near the beginning, Lorenzo Lamas rides up on a horse and says to Jane Wyman, "Grandmother, our new neighbors have arrived."
There's nothing to the line itself; it was the way Lamas said it that was so memorable. He puffed up his chest and declaimed. He didn't speak those six words, he orated them.
His delivery would have been more suited to "Grandmother, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, our new neighbors have arrived."
Or, "Grandmother, four score and seven years ago our new neighbors brought forth upon this continent . . . "
I hated the show, which went on to be a smash hit, and Lorenzo Lamas went on to become a pretty good actor. His most recent effort is a martial arts video original called\ "Final Impact," and it's a fine sleeper.
Like all good martial arts movies, it's a simple story that sticks close to established formulas but still contains some nice surprises. The action scenes are well choreographed (by Eric Lee), and the fights are relatively realistic. Most importantly, the violence never resorts to sadism.
The milieu is kickboxing. The situation and characters are martial arts archetypes. The young contender (Mike Worth) searches out a burnt-out master (Lamas) to help him train. The object: to defeat the evil villain (Jeff Langton) who took the master's championship - not to mention his wife. Also on hand is the master's current girlfriend (Kathleen Kinmont) to provide the voice of reason.
These characters are unusually believable and well-developed for the genre. But perhaps the most interesting thing about "Final Impact" is the way it seems to be aimed equally at a male and female audiences. The big scenes are focused on well developed, semi-dressed, good-looking young guys who are as flatteringly photographed as any calendar girls.
Turning from martial arts to football, we have\ "Washington Redskins 1991 Video Yearbook." It's unconditionally recommended for fans. Everyone else will probably find it insufferable.
The tape covers the wonderful season from the early games where Coach Joe Gibbs wore those knit shirts with the hideous patterns, to the shower of seat cushions during the playoffs, and, of course, the Super Bowl.
Like all NFL Films productions, this one is shameless propaganda for the league and the game.
THE ESSENTIALS:\ Final Impact P.M. Entertainment. 99 mins. Rated R for fight scenes.\ 1991 Washington Redskins Video Yearbook (for fans). Media. 50 min. Unrated, contains some rough language.
The heroic music makes the Super Bowl victory look and sound like the most important event since the creation of the universe.
But so what? Nothing succeeds like excess. Those willing to shell out $20 for the tape aren't looking for a penetrating expose of professional sports.
There are enough slow-motion shots of those long Mark Rypien passes and tricky runs to satisfy the occasional fan. At the same time, the importance of the less glamorous positions - the swarming defense and the offensive line - are stressed, and the whole tape could have been subtitled "The Art Monk Show."
'Skins fans will find this to be a moving and delightful trip down memory lane, something to keep the spirits up until the preseason games next August. Those who don't revere the burgundy and gold, or hang on every word that drops from the lips of Sonny, Sam and Frank, will be less enthusiastic.
Finally, for Betavision fans who have been abandoned by their local video stores, there is hope. Absolute Beta is a Remington, Va., mail-order video club with an impressive number of titles and competitive prices. Annual dues, including a no-frills catalog, are $9.95. The club deals in new, used and blank Beta tapes with prices ranging from 95 cents to $89.95.
Beta may have lost the marketing war to VHS, but it still delivers a superior picture, and there will always be a place for it in the home video business. For information on Absolute Beta, write to P.O. Box 130; Remington, VA 22734. Phone: 1-800-WE-R-BETA. Next week: Guilty Pleasures!
New release this week:
Mystery Date:
Starring Ethan Hawke, Teri Polo, D.B. Wong. 95 min. Orion. Rated PG-13 for strong language and violence. 95 min.
This inventive little comic adventure is never boring. It has the quirky spin that fans of director Jonathan Wacks' debut, "Powwow Highway," might expect. The story of a blind date that goes bad is filled with surprises, spritely humor and cheerful irreverence. If you missed this one in theaters, take a look now. All in all, an unexpected treat.\ What the ratings mean:
Memorable. One of the best of its kind; maybe worth owning.
Outstanding. An excellent video, worth searching out.
Average. You've seen better, you've seen worse, but if it sounds interesting . . .
Poor. This is why your VCR has a fast-forward button.
A waste of time and an insult to your intelligence. More a warning than a rating.
Note: Star ratings are not available for reviews from wire services.

by Bhavesh Jinadra by CNB