Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, March 25, 1993 TAG: 9303240168
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: ALMENA HUGHES STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
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LYRICALLY challenged people don't let little things like words get in the way of singing along with their favorite recordings. They either mumble over unintelligible words or make up new ones.K-92 (WXLK-FM) morning show host Slam Duncan used to drive around singing "boogie on ragged woman" - which Stevie Wonder in 1974 recorded as "Boogie on Reggae Woman." So you'd think he'd forgive other music manglers' indiscretions. But, no.
"I hate it when I'm riding with somebody in the car and they sing the wrong words or sing off key," said Duncan. "I really want to choke them."
See, people get emotional over lyrics. Yet only about 20 song slayers were brave enough to respond to our write-in, "Say What!?" with their favorite musical misnomers.
Jeanette P. Crawford of Roanoke wrote an emotional letter describing this year's hard-rock performance Grammy winner "Give It Away," by the Red Hot Chili Peppers as "the worst song ever." She had no problem understanding the lyrics. In fact, it was their clarity - as well as the group's clothing or lack of it - that so distressed her.
Her nomination for second-worst song ever was "Informer" by reggae-rapper Snow. Crawford, like half of those who wrote in, had no clue to the lyrics of Billboard magazine's reigning No. 1 single. We found them. More about that later.
Reader Janet Phillips Burrow of Roanoke takes her lyrical shortcomings lightly. She said her misinterpretations have brought much mirth into her teen-age children's lives.
Where in its 1982 hit "Open Arms," rock group Journey sang, "And so here I am, with open arms," Burrow sang "with broken arms." While Crispian St. Peters in 1966 sang, " I'm the Pied Piper," Burrow sang, "I'm with my mother."
Actually, Burrow's kids, Amanda, Sarah and Matt Phillips, shouldn't laugh. Sarah turned Paul Young's 1985 "Everytime you go away, you take a little piece of me" into "you take a little piece of meat." And Matt transformed a lyric he thinks was sung by Kim Carnes from "I'll be there where the heart is" to "I'll meet you at the local Hardee's."
Our staff here at the newspaper was not beyond lyric lunacy.
Staff writer Joe Kennedy, following up an alleged FBI investigation of allegedly obscene lyrics, disappointed us by finding the alleged and decidedly tame words to the Kingsmen's 1963 hit "Louie Louie." The first verse is typical:
A fine little girl, she wait for me
Me catch the ship across the sea
I sailed the ship all alone
I never think I'll make it home
LOU-IE LOU-IE, Me got-ta go - (repeat till fade-out)
Mingling columnist Kathleen Wilson confessed, "Instead of suicide blonde I thought INXS was singing soup and salad bar. "
Where in "Hold the Line," Toto sang " love isn't always on time," copy editor John Hudson heard " love is a corned beef on rye."
What copy editor John Crowe had interpreted in England Dan and John Ford Coley's "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight" as a mythical message about the millennium turned out to be "I'm not talkin' about movin' in."
And staff writer Melanie Hatter said that what she heard as "drink some apple ade" on Janet Jackson's single, "Escapade," is actually "Minneapolis" - which doesn't make a lot of sense, either.
The one request we got to clarify a country-music lyric came from Don Campbell of Vinton, who is such a big fan of the Statler Brothers' "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott," he even plays it on his answering machine. But what in the world are they singing about the horse, Campbell wondered. The answer: "his horse, plain as could be."
Rick Leighton, program director of contemporary country radio station WJLM, said he never gets calls about unclear lyrics. "Country lyrics are usually included in the song's name, and the words are just easier to understand than rock 'n' roll," he reasoned.
Terry Schultz, a disc jockey at urban-contemporary radio station WTOY, also seldom gets calls about lyrics. He said the secret is to listen to a song over and over until you understand it.
That's how he discovered that Boyz to Men in "End of the Road" are singing "This time instead, come straight to my bed." Schultz had been singing, "capture my breath."
Sam Giles, morning show host at rock 'n' roll station WROV, gets lots of lyric calls during his show's daily fill-in-the-lyrics segments. His favorite flubs include "Flea Spray," instead of the Jay Geils Band's "Freeze-Frame" and "Someone shave my legs tonight," for Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." He personally used to sing, "hey, it's across the water", where Paul McCartney in "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" sang "hands across the water."
Giles said a good place to find lyrics used to be on original record albums' jackets or liners. But CDs and cassette tapes seldom include them. He also noted that sometimes an artist changes the lyrics slightly while recording them, but the change never makes it into print.
Or sometimes - especially with popular new songs - no printed version is yet available, said Sue Rowe of Melody Haven music shop, which sells sheet music.
Lyrics also may or may not be found in music libraries, on sing-along karaoke setups or in the memories of musicians, record store clerks and disc jockeys.
Don't bother with the United States copyright office. It doesn't divulge lyrics, and its research can cost up to $20 an hour.
In other words, lyric tracking gets complicated. Which is why our research staff of one couldn't decipher lyrics for "Along Comes Mary" by The Association; "Willin' " by Linda Ronstadt; "They Want Efx" by Das Efx; or anything by Bob Dylan. We also won't be able to help the Clifton Forge music/band instructor teach his sixth and seventh graders the symbolism of Don McLean's "American Pie."
We did, however, track the elusive lyrics to "Informer," a rap/reggae song by a 23-year-old white artist, influenced by the music he heard growing up in a predominantly Jamaican area of Toronto.
For Holly L. Spraker of Roanoke, who bought the record and listened to it over and over but still can't understand what's said - and all the other write-ins who share her frustration - here is the first chorus of "Informer" by Snow:
Informer, you no say
that's who I'm gonna blame
A licky boom boom down
Detective man said Daddy Snow
I stabbed someone down the lane
A licky boom boom down.
Informer, you no say
that's who I'm gonna blame
A licky boom boom down
Detective man said Daddy Snow
I stabbed someone down the lane
A licky boom boom down.