Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, February 1, 1993 TAG: 9301300179
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
A COMPUTER DUMMY HATES TO TALK ABOUT HIS DOS
Here is the aged, semi-retired, semi-hysterical reporter facing life and wondering what will happen to his Social Security bread and trying to cope.Here I am, for example, going into the computer store and asking this guy:
"Have you got a book or something that will show me how to put stuff on disks? I have this instruction manual that must have been written by a person who was on some kind hallucinogenic drug.
"I am what you call technologically illiterate. Ha. Ha."
I shouldn't have done that. I should have known he was going to ask me questions about my DOS.
Listen, pal, I have this filmy idea that I have a DOS somewhere in that sucker, but I don't know where it or what it is - let alone what its measurements are.
I also have no idea of what it does, and I wish, to tell you the truth, that I'd never heard of it.
It's very embarrassing to stand in a public place and admit you don't know all that much about your DOS.
In addition, this tends to make computer whizzes feel sorry for you, which is not the kind of reaction you want when you're trying to get your disks straight.
I tried to think of some technological things to say, but none came to mind. I told the guy I'd find out what my DOS' measurements are and get back to him.
I said I was sorry to be so dumb. Ha. Ha.
(Actually, I have no intention of going back to the store when the same guy is there. I'll lurk around - hoping I don't get nailed by the cops - and wait until somebody else is in there and give him or her the old "technologically illiterate" line.)
Of course, I went home and immediately got out the manual we were talking about up there, and my DOS was mentioned several times, but there was no reference to its size.
As I have a hundred times, I said to myself: "Listen, Junior. You gotta play hurt. Don't let this bunch of little teeny wires get you down."
And I punched this button that says disk on it and, as usual, the screen then showed something that was as comprehensible to me as your average poem in Arabic.
I didn't go any further. You fool around in that part of my computer and things tend to go weird. Like, if you aren't careful in there, you can lose Aunt Zelda's letter before you get it printed.
I don't mean to say that the letter is lost forever. It's in there somewhere, along with your DOS, maybe.
If any of you know all there is to know about your DOS, please don't write.
I'm not trying to be hostile. It's just that my DOS probably is different from your DOS.