IS THAT ANY WAY TO RUN A MEETING?

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, February 7, 1993                   TAG: 9302050063
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: Cody Lowe
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium
IS THAT ANY WAY TO RUN A MEETING?
As someone who attends a lot of religious meetings, I've become something of an expert on how they're run, and I hereby offer a half-dozen suggestions on how to make them more efficient.
1. Schedule all the serious stuff just before lunch or supper.
Church folks sometimes need an incentive to move along in their deliberations, and food is just the thing to help. Doesn't matter whether it's Southern Baptists moving along to the fried chicken and iced tea or Episcopalians headed for the grilled swordfish and white wine.
While a lot of Christians believe they must be liable to the proddings of the Holy Spirit during these meetings, many suffer under the delusion that the Holy Spirit advances enlightenment only at snail speed. My experience is that the spirit moves at the speed of the Starship Enterprise when the aroma of victuals hits the nostrils of the debaters.
2. Prohibit preaching by those who take the floor or microphone to respond to the business on the floor.
We really should concede that most of the people who are selected to attend local, regional, state and national religious assemblies are folks who are in the pews most Sundays (or Saturdays). They're not perfect, God knows, but they are trying, and they shouldn't have to listen to interminable defenses of the budget line item for the new copying machine based on verses from Revelation.
3. Separate the worship sessions from the business sessions.
This is a selfish suggestion. Some groups are pretty good at this already, and those of us in the religion writing game appreciate that. Schedule the worship service first thing so the reporters don't have to get there until 10, although the organ music started at 8:30 - preceding the hymns, offering, sermon and (if pertinent to your denomination) the altar call.
4. Always hold your meeting someplace where the reporters have an optional press box off the floor.
This is another selfish one. In the press box at a civic center, for example, during the worship services reporters can grab a bite to eat, call the office, play some cards, exchange the latest gossip.
We also don't have to make that uncomfortable decision about whether to stand up during the hymns. Or worry about whether we can look around during the prayers to see who refuses to bow his head or close her eyes, even when admonished to do so.
Who gives preachers the right to make that demand anyway?
5. Lighten up a little. Don't demand so much of your delegates or representatives or messengers or whatever.
Typically, these religious conventions are struggling to pack as many reports, resolutions and elections as possible into the time allowed. And they have to work that around the worship services (two a day minimum).
By the end of the day - or week - many of the delegates have abandoned ship anyway and won't be around for that final report on the committee for the standardization of the sauce for the annual chicken barbecue.
Mail it to the delegates. Ahead of time. Beg them to read it if you want, but don't expect them to stay around while the 10-member committee takes turns reading a paragraph each from the published report.
And give these people a night off occasionally.
6. This is a biggie. Make sure the place has enough - large - rest rooms. When you're in a place where even the men have to stand in line, the facilities are woefully inadequate. Actually, if you're in a place where the women have to stand in line - as they are unfairly forced to almost every public facility - the location is inadequate.
Finally, if my conditions are met, I promise only passing mention of the fistfights during the abortion debate and a glowing report of the resolution to thank the mayor, city council, food vendors, book salespeople, custodians and each individual resident of the host community.

Cody Lowe reports on issues of religion and ethics for this newspaper.

by Archana Subramaniam by CNB