Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, May 3, 1993 TAG: 9305010173
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
They suggest, for example, that your roof is about to go and that it should be inspected to avoid future disaster.
This will lead certain persons, who shouldn't mount an ordinary flight of stairs, to get up on the roof.
A certain percentage of these persons will fall to their deaths or be injured seriously when they fall on their backs on the deck railing.
If some of these unfortunate persons weigh as much as I do, they will not only have very high medical costs, but will need a new deck railing, also.
At least those who fall to their deaths won't have to worry about their roof anymore and if it needs redoing, the heirs can take care of it.
I'm not among these roofwalkers. Every other year, I walk across the street and look up at the roof. It always looks the same to me.
I recently read one of these columns that set out what you're supposed to do before you get someone to repair or replace your roof.
By the time you get four estimates and have made about 15 telephone calls to various people and government agencies, I think you wouldn't really care anymore about your roof.
I was a boy during the Great Depression and men of wisdom said then that the time to fix your roof was the time the roof leaked.
People in those days were smart enough to let their roofs alone as long as their roofs did the same.
I read another column, which I don't intend to mention to my own personal, live-in gardener, that we ought to have something called "allium" in our garden. And all this time, I thought the red and yellow tulips were looking pretty good.
It was said that we also should have some "acidanthera" out there.
If it's all the same to you, I think we'll just stick with tulips.
In case you might want to try some `allium," my dictionary defines it as `strong smelling bulb plant."
After I read that, I was afraid to look up up "acidanthera."
These writers also tell us what to do about reseeding lawns - happily suggesting procedures that cost roughly the same as tuition, room and board for the first semester at a state-supported college or university.
It all makes your wallet writhe in your back pocket.
We don't have to pay any attention to these people - who probably live in apartment buildings - but they do tend to worry you.
Right after I wrote this, for example, I went and took a look at my roof, although this was 18 months ahead of my normal inspection.
by CNB