Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, June 22, 1993 TAG: 9306220153
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Neil Chethik
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Gutierrez, 33, is the California man who last month was awarded $1 million after convincing a jury that his female supervisor kissed and fondled him almost daily for six years, and - when she learned he had gotten married - stripped him of his desk and his duties.
Ironically, many men are quick to question the victim. "Why didn't he just use his strength if he wanted to stop her?" one man asked when I brought it up with him. "Why didn't he take her up on it?" asked another.
Both wanted to know what the boss looked like - as if it would be flattering for a man to be sexually harassed by an attractive female boss.
Those responses ignore a reality that most male employees are just becoming aware of, but that women learned years ago: Sexual harassment is not primarily about sex; it's about power.
A female boss who fondles her employee is not trying to flatter him. She is trying to control him. And, in most cases, it is this power to control - not the sex itself - that turns her on.
Men still are the most common perpetrators of sexual harassment. But as women gain more power in the workplace, they are picking up the diseases that go along with that status. Harassment complaints filed by men more than doubled between 1990 and 1992, according to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
To deal with the changes, men must do what women already are doing: learn what harassment looks like, and what we can do to prevent it.
What is harassment? The courts have ruled that any sexual advance toward an employee - male or female - is harassment when "submission or rejection . . . affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment."
So harassment may be a supervisor demanding sex before she considers you for a promotion. Or it may be a boss or co-worker telling sexist jokes or making sexual innuendoes. Or it could be a co-worker being promoted ahead of you because he's sleeping with the boss.
Usually when men face these kinds of situations, we shrug them off. Not wanting to appear weak or thin-skinned, we try to ignore the problem.
Unfortunately, that usually doesn't work. Studies show that anyone who puts up with sexual harassment for a long time tends to feel humiliated, self-doubting, untrusting, angry and depressed.
But how does someone fight back? "The 9to5 Guide to Combating Sexual Harassment" (John Wiley & Sons, $9.95) makes these suggestions:
Trust your instincts. If something happens - especially more than once - that makes you highly uncomfortable, tell someone you trust.
Say no clearly. Often, this will be enough to stop the harasser. Sometimes, putting the no in writing will be necessary.
Document every incident in detail. Keeping a written account of each incident makes it easier to get results from the management or government, if it gets that far.
Look for witnesses or other evidence. If the offender is a repeat harasser, it may be possible to get a group of employees to back up your complaint.
If necessary, file charges with a government agency.
Ultimately, the best prevention may be for the men and women to unite - before harassment begins - to convince the workplace management to develop clear anti-harassment policies and a training programs.
As the Gutierrez case teaches us, sexual harassment is not simply a matter of men vs. women. It is a matter of those who have power vs. those who do not.
FACTBOX Sexual harassment complaints by men 1990 ..... 481 1991 ..... 514 1992 ..... 968 Source: U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
MALE CALL Men: Have you ever been sexually harassed? Was it on the job, on the street, by someone you knew or a stranger? Women: If you've been harassed, what's the most effective way you've found to stop it? Send responses and questions about men to The Men's Column, P.O. Box 8071, Lexington, Ky. 40533-8071.
Neil Chethik is a Lexington, Ky., free-lance writer.
by CNB