Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, August 3, 1993 TAG: 9308030128
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Neil Chethik
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Why does he say that? Because even in an era when two-parent families are worshiped, when everyone from Dan Quayle to Jesse Jackson preaches the virtues of good fathering, most American businesses don't want to admit that men are parents, too.
Only a handful of companies offer paternity leave. Even fewer let fathers stay home with sick children. Many have an invisible "daddy-track" for those sensitive guys who want to "bond" with their kids.
This anti-father attitude is so deeply ingrained, it would probably take an act of Congress to change it. Let's hope so. Because such an act has occurred.
The Family and Medical Leave Act, which goes into effect Thursday, will guarantee millions of American workers time off to tend to a newborn child, sick parent or certain other pressing family matters.
The law came about largely because women's groups pushed for it. Yet it may be men who benefit most. That's because in the clearest way yet, our elected officials have said in this landmark legislation that men have an equal interest in the hands-on raising of their children.
"It's a very important first step, if only in a symbolic way," says Kathleen Gerson, author of "No Man's Land," a new book on men, work and family. "The fact that [the law] includes men as well as women means there's an opportunity for very significant change."
But it's only an opportunity. Just as the Civil Rights acts of the 1960s did not end racism, this act will not erase the deeply held corporate prejudice that for men, work matters most.
That prejudice can take very subtle forms. But one statistic makes the story clear. Even in the rare companies where both genders are offered parental leave, fewer than 10 percent of those who take it are men.
Don and Kathy Olson of Rochester, N.Y., offer a typical example. Both work at Eastman Kodak, which since 1987 has had one of the nation's most progressive parental leave policies. Yet just a couple of days after they had their first child last year, Don Olson went back to work. And it wasn't because of the money.
"I had just started a new job, and I was already behind," he explains. "To go in and say I'm going to take six weeks off - I suspect they would have given the job to someone else. They would have had to."
Kathy Olson, though, who also was starting a new job at Kodak, had no trouble taking leave. She stayed home for 13 weeks after delivery, then phased in her return, working two days a week, then three. Today, 16 months after the birth, she works a four-day week.
While Don Olson says he's very involved with his daughter now, he still believes it was "less than compelling" for him to be around after her birth because his wife was home.
But Kyle Pruett, a Yale University child psychiatrist, says fathers shouldn't minimize their worth. He says research indicates that infants who receive hands-on care from their fathers - diaper changes, feeding, bathing and the like - tend to become more sociable, and to develop better intellectual and motor skills.
What's more, Pruett adds, fathers are cheating themselves when they stay in the background. "There's something profoundly humanizing about caring for another human's body," he says.
The new law may change things. But the pressures against fathers taking off from work remain strong. Don Olson, whose new Kodak job make him a boss, says he'd be sympathetic to an employee who wanted a paternity leave.
But he adds, "These days, there's often no one to download the work to. We're already downsized. You've got to weigh the business need and the human standpoint, and try to compromise. Because if we don't do what the company needs us to do, none of us have jobs."
\ MEN-TION\ Highlights of the Family and Medical Leave Act.
Applies to any company with 50 or more employees.
Allows employees to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave in any 12-month period to care for a newborn child, or for a sick child, spouse or parent.\
Requires employers to continue medical benefits during the leave. Guarantees employees the same or equivalent job when they return to work.
\ MALE CALL\ Men: What would happen if you asked for paternity leave at your workplace?\ Women: Should men get as much parental leave as women do?
Send responses, questions and comments to "The Men's Column, in care of the Features Department, Roanoke Times & World-News, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010-2491.
by CNB