Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, August 19, 1993 TAG: 9308180050
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By CODY LOWE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
"Can't program your VCR? But you're not stupid? Well, heh, heh, I can't program my VCR either - and I'm president of my own company."
Then Michael Bissonnette goes on to say he wants to sell you the thing his company makes - the VCR Voice Programmer.
He never mentions that the Voice Programmer costs $179 (actually, you can get it now for the low, low price of $159). But, hey, it'd be worth it to be able to say "Play, Record, Pause, Rewind, Stop" and get your VCR to do what you want, right? You can even say "Zap it" - which is supposed to make the tape you're watching zoom through the commercials.
We ordered one to find out. (Of course, since this was the company's dollar, we sent it back in less than 30 days for a full, no-questions-asked refund.)
I want to admit up front that I can program my VCRs, even though one is an old Curtis-Mathes job that takes even an experienced programmer a few minutes - maybe a quarter-hour - to get right. But nobody else in my house can do it, and I'm a sucker for any new video gadget.
So, I was really looking forward to this. I would assume the couch-potato position and using only my voice - which even my poor, deaf old dog can't hear any more - bend lifeless electronics to my will.
First, of course, you have to open the box.
There's a VHS videotape on top. But before I could watch that, I opened the box inside to uncover a packet of instructional booklets covering the gleaming black hand-held controller in the box underneath.
A sticker on the controller commanded me not to press any buttons until I had watched the videotape.
The top booklet in the stack ordered me to watch the videotape first thing.
Sorry, Michael, but I couldn't resist at least flipping through the literature, and I use that word in its broadest sense.
Whoa! I've gotta get through three booklets - with their cutesy, user-friendly illustrations - before I even get the basic programming done? Then there are a couple more booklets with "advanced" instructions.
Looks pretty intimidating to me. But this is a scientific, unbiased examination of new technology. Let's at least wait to give the tape a chance.
Saturday.
\ 9:15 p.m. The children's chauffeuring service is now off-duty, so we can begin to unlock the mysteries of voice programming. Forget how complicated the booklets appeared, we'll just plug in the tape and see what happens.
There he is. Michael. Soothing, hypnotic, monotone delivery. Soothing blue background. So soothing. Just like Mr. Rogers. I start to nod. Yeah, this is a piece of cake.
First, we're going to teach the programmer my voice. Michael shows me how - it really does look easy - then I stop the tape and try it myself (referring to the manuals "only as a backup").
On cue from a little digital display on the face of the controller, I will speak a series of words and numbers - "Play, 12, Rewind, One, Pause, 30, Stop, 10, Zap it," and so on - while holding down a little "record" button.
The controller goes through the list a second time to confirm what I've said - and forcing me to repeat two or three times words that it doesn't understand because of my Southern accent.
\ 9:45 p.m. I start up the tape again. This time we're gonna train the VCR Voice Programmer to imitate the commands of my existing remote controllers. In videophile language, this is where you make it a more-or-less universal remote.
Again, Michael shows us how easy it is, then we stop the tape and try it at home. This time you have to leave the room where your TV and VCR are. Using a sheet out of one of the manuals, you line up your remotes exactly four inches behind the VCR Voice Programmer and start pushing buttons on cue.
So far, so good. Back to the tape.
\ 10 p.m. Step three is just trying it out? This really is easier than it looked, even though it has taken 45 minutes.
Down to the living room. Point the VCR Voice Programmer at the TV and press the "TV on" button. Hot dog, it worked! I confidently press the "VCR on" button. Nothing. I press again. Nothing. I press harder. Nothing.
Don't panic. Perhaps the programming didn't take. We'll just run through step two again.
\ 10:10 p.m. Still nothing. Now we turn to the 800 number where operators are standing by with easy solutions to your programming problems.
Except that the phone helpers closed up shop in California about 10 minutes ago. They promise to call back the next day if you'll leave a message.
I hate to be stumped like this. Now, what did Michael say about making sure you have fresh, strong batteries in the remotes? It's worth a try. I install new batteries, run through the programming again.
\ 10:15 p.m. Voila, the Voice Programmer will indeed turn on the VCR!
I'm on a roll. Now to test the programming function. I press the "program" button and speak. Channel first: "one-three" - you have to tell it double-digit channels by saying one number at a time. Day: "Saturday." Start time: "Eleven" - it does recognize hours of 10, 11 and 12; "Thirty" - the only "minutes" it recognizes; "P.M." Stop time: "Twelve" - pause - "A.M."
About five minutes before the appointed time to start the recording, the Voice Programmer prints a digital display reminder to turn the VCR off. It won't work if you're watching TV through the VCR.
I turn the VCR off. The minutes slowly unwind. Boom. The VCR and TV come on, recording starts. Looks pretty good. Except for one thing. It's not Channel 13. It's recording Channel 10, which was the last thing I was watching.
It turns out, I learn from the Voice Programmer operator the next day, that on older machines like mine - which has buttons I programmed for different channels instead of a digital readout - the channel selection function won't work. So I have to leave the VCR on the channel I want to record. No way to record programs on different channels while I'm gone for vacation. And no mention of this idiosyncrasy in any of the manuals, by the way.
Bummer.
So, great. After more than an hour and a half of setting the Voice Programmer up, I can sit on the couch, push the VCR button and say "Play" and a tape will start playing.
I "Pause, Stop, Rewind," etc., by voice. But I have extremely limited capability to program it to record later. It also takes a couple of minutes to realize that to un-pause the machine, I have to say "pause" again - just like I'd have to hit the pause button again to release it.
I can say "Zap it," and the machine will automatically fast-forward through approximately 60 seconds of recorded material - presumably commercials. Of course, if the commercial break was two minutes, or 90 seconds, you've got to tell it to "fast forward," then "stop," to get through the rest of the commercials. You could even hold down the "fast forward" button on the Voice Programmer - which is hidden away with the other conventional controls under a sliding panel at the bottom of the unit.
The gizmo works fine with my other VCR - you can set it up to run two different TV/VCR systems and recognize up to four different voices.
But to do the second system, and the additional voices, or to start at some time other than on the hour or half-hour, or do a lot of other little things, you have to read the manuals. The "advanced" manuals.
Because I haven't bought a VCR in several years, I scouted out a few of the newer models at a couple of places around town. What I discovered is that if you can't program one of these new ones, you'll never figure out the Voice Programmer either.
Circuit City has a Panasonic model with on-screen programming that you do with one button and a little wheel, both operated with the thumb of one hand. It took me about 30 seconds - even without a salesperson's help - to program in a selection for later recording.
A Mitsubishi model at Holdrens was just as easy - one-button, on-screen programming. Push the button for the menu. Then push the same button repeatedly to select the channel, date, start and stop times. Again, about 30 seconds and it's set.
I discovered most of the mid-priced VCRs - about $50 more than the VCR Voice Programmer - now have VCR-Plus built in, too. VCR-Plus is that system where you can use four-digit codes in the TV listings to set the thing to record. Of course, setting that up the first time is pretty complicated, too, so you'd probably be just as well off learning to program the VCR.
So, you've got a fairly new VCR, you like gadgetry, and you've got $160 to spend? The VCR Voice Programmer is fun, but far from essential.
Even if you don't like electronic gadgets, but you just have never been able to master programming, the videotaped explanation of how to set up the Voice Programmer is so good you probably will be able to set it up.
But for the person who has an older VCR, with its more complicated programming system, I'd say you're probably better off just buying one of the new simple-to-program models. You'll almost certainly be able to master them, and you'll probably get a better recording.
by CNB