Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, August 31, 1993 TAG: 9308310133
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
I believe that Kathleen Turner is now playing Olivia Walton and that she runs about the house in skimpy negligees.
I think she got fed up and told the whole family she was sick of those flour-sack dresses and clunky shoes. She also said her days in the kitchen were over, and she went shopping in Charlottesville.
This riled Grandma Walton, who had to spend all her time in the kitchen with flour on her nose.
It didn't take those wonderful Walton children long to learn that Grandma Walton was a zero as a cook.
Even level-tempered John-Boy was out of sorts.
"It's been so long since we had pheasant under glass I've forgotten what it tastes like," he told Ike Godsey down to the general store.
Grandpa Walton handled the culinary problems by lying.
"Your zucchini casserole was food fit for the gods," he said. "Your blackberry pie transcended the highest heights of invention and instilled in me an almost religious feeling."
"Put a lid lid on it, you old fool," Grandma said.
"For the last shall be first and the first shall be last and so forth," Grandpa said, reaching into his bib overalls for his pint.
The whole community began to gossip about the Waltons and how their family values had deteriorated. Cast members said that with Olivia carrying on like a shameless hussy, viewers would zap the show and the network would dump it.
At a meeting of the Greater Waltons Mountain Improvement Association, Ike - who had it easy in his role at the general store - agreed to go over to the Walton place and do some plain talking.
Ike had a touching speech about family values all ready when he knocked on the door. Olivia answered the door, wearing a wisp of a satin house dress with a plunging neckline.
"Yeah?" she said huskily, fitting a cigarette into a long holder and blowing a curl off her slightly dampened forehead.
"I just wanted to tell you that the French wine you ordered has come in," Ike said quickly. He got back into his truck and drove away, carefully avoiding the four Walton cars that were parked in the yard.
"Well?" his wife asked when he got home.
"I dunno," he said. "Mebbe somebody ought to change the storyline to let Olivia dress in those low-cut jobs and talk a lot."
"But that wouldn't be the Waltons," his wife said.
"Who cares?" Ike said. "This is show bizness."
Memo: ***CORRECTION***