Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: FRIDAY, December 24, 1993 TAG: 9312270291
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: A1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: CODY LOWE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: STEWARTSVILLE LENGTH: Long
\ Robert Varsano is pursuing his mission with the urgency of a man who doesn't know how much time he has to finish his work.
He's battling an obstacle he didn't expect, though - a reluctance by some ministers to let him share his testimony of Christian hope and faith.
Despite having potent stories about the work of God's love in his life and his conversion to Christianity from Judaism, Varsano says most pastors don't want him - or his disease - in their churches.
Varsano is infected with the virus that causes AIDS.
"The church does not want to recognize this problem," Varsano said. "The church refuses to get involved" with those who have the disease - even those who, like himself, did not get it from what many consider to be "immoral" or "sinful" behavior.
"I didn't do nothing wrong," Varsano said, sipping herb tea in the kitchen of his neat two-story country home. "All I did was love my wife."
He got the virus from his wife - who never told him that she was infected, apparently by her previous husband.
In the space of 10 days, Varsano lost his wife and stepdaughter and discovered he was infected with what is probably the most feared disease on the planet.
It was May 1991 when his wife of three years, Sheila, became sick. For two weeks, she struggled with what turned out to be pneumonia. On May 20, doctors were trying to come up with an explanation for her condition and asked Varsano for permission to do an AIDS test, among dozens of others, on his wife.
Varsano agreed, though he says now he did not fully understand the implications of the request and did not know anything about AIDS.
His wife died that evening.
Because of concerns that his wife might have been exposed to something toxic - or to AIDS - Varsano was encouraged by family members to have tests done on himself. He did, then traveled to New Jersey for his wife's funeral.
At the wake, he heard that a doctor had phoned to say Sheila had AIDS. After the funeral, his stepdaughter was taken from him to live with other relatives. Then, nine days after his wife's death, Varsano learned he, too, was infected with HIV, the AIDS virus.
He went through four months of depression, he said, struggling to understand why this happened to him and to figure out what he was going to do.
"I'm not afraid anymore, not afraid of life. Freedom came from this," Varsano said as tears came to his eyes.
What he concluded was that "God has put me in this place to work with the Christian community," which - he is not reluctant to tell anyone - has not done a good job of ministering to people with AIDS.
"It is way past time" the church started doing that, the 40-year-old New York native said. "The church should have been involved from the beginning.
"Mercy, compassion, love - this is the law of God. It is terrible that people that have this disease cannot come into a house of worship" without fear of being ostracized.
If the disease were easily communicable - through the air or by touch, perhaps - Varsano concedes there might be a reason for churches to restrict participation. But "this disease will not jump off me onto you."
Fear of that, however, has kept many churches from ministering to AIDS patients, Varsano believes.
His own congregation is among the exceptions, he says.
At first, the other members of Faith Life Baptist Church in Montvale thought he was depressed only about his wife's death. Eventually, he asked his pastor, the Rev. Johnny Basham, to let the congregation know about his own HIV infection, although he was concerned about what their reaction would be.
What he got was unconditional support.
"They accepted Rob and agreed to stand behind him," Basham said. "I think when he shared his testimony, our people got a taste of what it's like to be hurt. I really think it helped them be more compassionate for the less fortunate.
"If they had rejected Rob, they would not have been doing the Lord's will."
Nevertheless, Varsano said, he has been rejected when he has approached other pastors about speaking to their congregations or on their local radio programs.
"They say, `AIDS is not in our church and we don't want it here,' " Varsano said.
That's a contention Basham questions. "How do we know we don't have others who are infected?"
Basham concedes that the way Varsano was infected probably was a factor in his own congregation's reaction.
One of Varsano's messages to churches, though, is that they should be concerned about AIDS patients regardless of how they acquired the disease.
"Because homosexuals got it, a stigma was attached to it. But this disease doesn't have a sexual preference," Varsano said.
"God loves all people, including homosexuals and lesbians," Varsano said. The gay community deserves credit, he said, for being "the only ones really doing anything about AIDS."
For many Christians, the only question is whether AIDS "is a plague from God," Varsano believes. "If it is, what about heart disease and cancer? Are those plagues, too?"
The question is irrelevant for Varsano. The church is obliged to take care of God's children. "The Lord has never abandoned the afflicted.
"Some people say to me, `You just use God as a crutch.' I say all of us are incapable of standing on our own. We all need God."
Dealing with his HIV infection is a spiritual as well as a physical challenge, Varsano said.
He credits his faith in Christ as the key to his positive outlook on living with HIV.
Seventeen years ago, when he was living in Florida, a neighbor visited him bringing "the plan of salvation," Varsano said. Sitting in his home that night, he accepted Jesus Christ as his savior.
Though he has fully embraced Christianity, he continues to observe some Jewish holidays. His family claims descent from the Levite or priestly line of Judaism.
Varsano meets with a national group of Jewish converts to Christianity each year and wants to be considered a "messianic Jewish evangelist." He's taking courses from Jerry Falwell's Liberty Bible Institute at home.
"I'm alienated from Jews" since becoming a Christian, "and now I'm alienated from my brother Christians" because of HIV.
And because his disease is invisible, "Sometimes, it's like walking around in a mask."
Despite the isolation society imposes on those with HIV and the difficulties of breaking through to the church he loves, Varsano remains upbeat and confident of recovery.
He is healthy now - jogging 1 1/4 miles a day and bench-pressing 200 pounds. He quit taking AZT, a controversial AIDS drug which has side-effects Varsano believes outweigh its benefits.
"I'm not sure I'm going to die of this. There are going to be survivors. There are people infected today who are going to live through this. No doubt in my mind."
Going through this "affliction" is part of God's plan for strengthening and "perfecting" him, Varsano believes. "Nobody goes home [dies] early. God's timing is perfect.
"I've already been born-again in spirit. If I live through this, I'll be born-again in the flesh."
by CNB