
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, January 21, 1994                   TAG: 9401210329
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: WENDI GIBSON RICHERT
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

`THIS IS A FOOTBALL . . .'

We concede that many women are in the backfield on the subject of football, while the men hog the line of scrimmage. Of course, women don't get to play very much, either.

But never mind that. We'll tentatively agree with the position that the feminine half of the population is on the defense where pigskin is concerned.

That being the case, we can thank our delicate bones for Randall D. Schultz's ``A Woman's Guide to Football'' (Schultz Communications, $2.95). This playbook (it's pink and purple!) outlines every aspect of the multimillion dollar club for men. (To get your copy in time for the Super Bowl, call 800-833-9327.)

Imagine no longer humiliating yourself in front of the guys by asking such inane questions as, ``Why do those guys in jail suits keep throwing their hankies?'' or ``Now WHO are we rooting for?'' or ``Why do they keep running into each other? Doesn't that hurt?''

Indeed, Schultz explains it all. On a third-grade level. To people who have never laid eyes on a football. (You know, that ``oval-shaped ball made of leather that's inflated with air,'' the ones that ``bounce funny.'')

Everything from the padding and tight uniforms right down to the tight ends and tackles wearing them is here. There's even some football trivia to blitz the boys with.

But we do wonder about the woman this book is aimed at.

Could it be that there are some out there who don't know the official (``one of the guys in the black and white striped shirts'') from the defensive linemen (who are ``huge - even humongous'')?

by CNB