Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, July 4, 1994                   TAG: 9407050125
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: HOLIDAY 
SOURCE: Ben Beagle
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

I'M AGED ENOUGH WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THE SUN

The government is now supplying daily solar warning indexes to help its taxpayers avoid skin cancer, cataracts, damaged immune systems and premature aging.

These figures as furnished by the National Weather Service , however, won't be of much use to those of us right here in Roanoke, Va., who may want to avoid premature aging.

This is because we won't get such figures. The closest reporting city is Charleston, W.Va. And then there is Norfolk, Raleigh, N.C., and Washington, D.C.

Understand that I don't go out in the sun unless I have to. I am also already aged, although not prematurely.

I'm not one of your sun-bathing special interest people. I like it better when the sun goes down. I don't believe I've had any real fun in the daylight since I was 6 years old.

But as a spokesman for the downtrodden, I wonder why people in Norfolk can find out whether the sun will kill them on a certain day and those of us who live to the west can't have the same information.

Does the government wish the people in, say, Mouth of Wilson and Sylvatus to look older than the people in Norfolk or Charleston?

I don't think the people in Mouth of Wilson or Sylvatus care all that much about looks, but they are entitled to the same treatment.

I wonder why it is the business of the government to give out such material in the first place. Back in my day, you put on your swimming trunks and suntan lotion and took your chances.

The sun, or the lotion, always caused me to break out bad, but there was no government interference.

One of the main results of this new procedure will be more elaborate weather maps that will give television weatherpersons a wider variety of graceful hand movements:

"Well, folks, if you want to keep your immune system, don't fool around outdoors today."

Americans are going to ignore such advice. If Boom Boom La Tour of Norfolk needs to freshen up her tan, she's going to get into her bikini and hit the beach regardless of the solar index.

She may get eye wrinkles, but people like Boom Boom worship the sun.

I doubt that any picnics will be called off today because of sun.

It doesn't matter to me. I'm staying inside the rest of the summer. I already had cataracts.