Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, March 16, 1995 TAG: 9503170001
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 6 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: JOEL ACHENBACH
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
A: We are going to make some generalizations here. Individual variances are stipulated in advance. Some restrictions apply. The entire column is void where prohibited.
What's strange about the pleasurability of sex is that it's not universal. Some people don't like sex at all. Elizabeth Rice Allgeier, editor of The Journal of Sex Research, studies what she calls ``consensual unwanted sex,'' in which one partner goes along with sex even though it's not enjoyable.
Even for the majority of people who like it, sexual pleasure isn't something you can always rely on. You don't get sexual pleasure the way you get a soda out of a vending machine. Some people may think sex is like that - just put in the money and hit the button - but it's usually not that simple.
Even what is pleasurable, exactly, is hard to predict for any given person. We're all over the love map. That's a human quirk. ``The non-human species appear to be more hard-wired in terms of copulatory patterns,'' says Allgeier. ``They aren't as varied in the ways they stimulate themselves.''
There is some hardwiring that's beyond our control. No one can command himself or herself to become aroused. It's not like breathing. If you want to take a breath, you just take a breath. But you can't just shout IGNITION! and find your body responding.
The involuntary nature of arousal is the direct result of how important sexual reproduction is. If through sheer willpower you could make yourself sexually excited you might be panting and puffing all day long, which is bad for getting things accomplished and can lead to unwise genetic pairings.
``In some sense, natural selection, or Mother Nature, doesn't trust human beings to be able, ever, to use their brains to decide when they should become sexually aroused,'' says James Weinrich, author of ``Sexual Landscapes: Why We Are What We Are, Why We Love Whom We Love.''
For men and women, sex is often such a different experience they might as well be in different rooms. For a woman, sex is more likely to be a romantic, spiritual bonding, an event that occurs in a meaningful context, an integral part of a relationship. For a man it might just be a seed-purging exercise. A sperm exodus. Men can be spiritual too. But they can also check in and then check right out. No context is necessary, strictly speaking. In a crunch a man is always willing to go through the drive-in lane.
Robert Francoeur, a biologist at Fairleigh Dickinson University, says there are differences in the male and female brain that account for why they experience sex differently. Basically a woman has a more integrated brain. Women have a much larger corpus callosum, the tissue connecting the two brain hemispheres. This is why women are more sensitive to touch all over their bodies, he says.
``In women, their brains are much better adapted and evolved to integrate and process pleasure sensations,'' he says. ``The female orgasm is much more whole body. The male orgasm is much more penile centered.''
We expect some people out there might disagree. The issue of whether the male brain and female brain are different remains hotly debated.
The Mailbag:
Frederick L. of Grosse Point, Mich., writes, ``Has it ever really happened in history that the messenger was killed because of bringing bad news?''
Dear Fred: As journalists we are definitely interested in finding this out.
Kurt Raaflaub, co-director of the Center For Hellenic Studies, has come up with the Herodotus citation you alluded to in your letter. Herodotus writes that the king of Persia sent messengers to the Greek city-states asking for submission. The Greeks were supposed to signal their acceptance of the king's domination by giving the messengers some earth and water to take back home. But those daffy Greeks chose instead to hurl some of the messengers in a gorge and some others into a well. In both incidents the basic message was, go down there and find your earth and water.
The Greeks, specifically the Spartans, then had a streak of bad luck, and figured it was because the gods were displeased by the undiplomatic response to the Persian messengers. So they sent some sacrificial messengers back to the Persian king. But the king declined to kill them, preferring to retain the moral high ground in the eyes of the gods.
Herodotus also described a ritual of the cult of the god Zalmoxis among the Geto-Dacians of the Balkans. They'd erect three sharp lances. Then they'd send a messenger to Zalmoxis by swinging the poor chap aloft onto the spear points. If he died, they'd all be happy. If he survived, they'd ``blame the messenger'' and decide he was ``a bad man,'' Herodotus wrote.
Our own policy is to be skeptical of any historian who lacks a first name.
- Washington Post Writers Group
by CNB