
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, March 27, 1995                   TAG: 9503270023
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: C9   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: LUCA Di CECCO
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

I'VE MET THE ENEMY, AND IT'S ME!

I HAVE an identity crisis. From an early age, the importance of being educated was instilled in me by my parents and teachers. I was taught that an ability to think, recognize and embrace sensible and humane values, and to solve problems, would help me to become worthy of myself and to fellow human beings.

Most of all, I was urged to grow morally and intellectually, and to elevate myself to the highest possible degree that combined attributes of education, intellect and experience would support.

After nearly a lifetime of learning, I'm not quite through. Yet, behavior-wise, I treat people with dignity and civility. This, without regard to race, color, creed, religion, social status, gender, political persuasion. I value family and friends, appreciate gifts of hard work, and view people's good will and charitable instincts as a wonder of the world.

I like to read books that reach beyond simple entertainment, though I'm not opposed to such diversion. I love, respect and have a fascination for nature, and an inherent need to be creative and involved in the arts. I pay taxes with a certain sense of equanimity. As part of everyday life, such things as television, my personal computer, the Public Broadcasting System and National Public Radio all make a balanced contribution.

This isn't to say I'm perfect, but when all is said and done, I like myself well enough. But I'm confused. Even though I thought I was engaged in a purposeful pursuit to be a caring person and a good citizen all these years, I'm not sure I've become as worthy as I thought.

Sadly for me, I hear a disquieting message of judgment coming from our nation's Capitol. This is the citadel of my government, wherein some of the best minds and most perceptive analysts of human character reside. Traditionally, I'm given to understand that these chosen leaders care about "all Americans.'' Increasingly, however, a clarion message has been resounding from my government's guiding lights with the pronouncement that I (and presumably others similar to me) am an "intellectual,'' a member of an "elite" group in society.

Now, to be sure, I don't think of myself in those terms. But I confess that I always perceived them as denoting something positive. My dictionary continues to reinforce this perception.

Curiously, the message and the manner in which it's delivered instructs me that I, as an intellectual and a member of an elite social group, am also some sort of selfish and backward social ``obstructionist.'' As such, I'm ``anti-revolutionary'' and ``reactionary,'' am ``out of step with America'' and ``irrelevant.''

Clearly, all that I've tried to be as an American citizen notwithstanding, I cannot be trusted. And by implication, the best and most helpful thing I could do for myself and my country is to self-destruct.

Now, as all this emanates from a high and venerable political venue, I confess that I never conceived of myself as a Democrat, Republican or any other manifestation of political faith. I fear I'm too free of mind and dogma to think of myself as a conservative or a liberal, and am certainly ambidextrous with regard to left and right. In any case, now my government tells me all the values I've assiduously embraced in the pursuit of life have been rendered obsolete.

Can you understand that I have an identity problem? I need help from someone who doesn't. Is that you?

Luca Di Cecco is co-director of the Garth Newel Music Center in Warm Springs.

by CNB