
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, June 21, 1995                   TAG: 9506220016
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A-9   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: LINDA BALLIN
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

I LOVE MY FAITH, TOO

WHEN I first moved to this area from the greater Baltimore-Washington metropolis 22 years ago, I had not yet formulated the notion that I was a member of a minority.

I had grown up in the Jewish ``ghetto'' of Baltimore. I remember a host of Yiddish-speaking great aunts and uncles, my beloved grandparents, and my zaddick great-grandfather who would sit at the head of the table, with belabored breath and a shot glass of schnapps, toast us and say every time, ``I brought you here.''

In a peculiar world of childhood loneliness, I fascinated myself with stories of the Holocaust, mostly stories of children. But more than once I snuck into my parents' room to read the ``Exodus.''

Traditions were a daily occurrence in my life. Then I moved to the country, caught up in the movement of the '60s, and here I've grown and raised my children. Part of that growing involved graduating from Averett College, where I received my formal New Testament education.

At the time, my nearest neighbor - an elderly, dignified gentleman - would spew anger-filled commentary about how the Jews in Germany got what they deserved because they were never citizens and refused to help their country in earlier times of hardships. I never confronted him, and I didn't want to embarrass him. I cared about his feelings, and I cried at home. I've repeated that pattern many times in my years of living ``out of the ghetto.''

The jokes aren't so bad, but the worst has been public Christian prayer in the name of Jesus, with no disrespect intended. I have bowed my head in Christian prayer many times before eating a shared meal at weddings and funerals. I have gone to church with my Christian relatives and love the hymns. I have reflected a lot about religion, respect and love, and I've experienced the spiritual highs of Buddhist, Hindu and Native American chanting. I've vicariously marveled at the ways of the aborigines.

It doesn't feel good to receive mail from messianic Jewish groups. Who sent them to me? Who turned in my name? Who is condemning me now for publicizing my faith? I want to be Jewish. I want this world to go on in a spirit of peace and harmony. I pray that the fortunate of us can accept, appreciate and nurture the good that's inherent in all of us. And I want the fervor of the present to cease perpetuating exclusion, insensitivity and hatred.

Linda Ballin, of Roanoke, teaches in the Roanoke city public schools.

by CNB