Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, July 22, 1995 TAG: 9507250002
SECTION: RELIGION PAGE: C-4 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: JOY THOMPSON/KNIGHT-RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
In a nutshell, the story concluded, the thrill is gone. Most couples are sexually active before marriage, so the honeymoon is no longer an exciting opportunity to get to know your mate (in the biblical sense). Instead, it is little more than a vacation, or worse, an opportunity to catch up on sleep.
As a person who is committed to following the Bible, I believe sex is a wonderful gift from God intended to be passed between a wife and husband. It is a standard upheld by my church. Even engaged members are expected to abstain from sexual activity until their wedding night. As a result, marriage and the honeymoon are a much anticipated thing. And the entire congregation celebrates.
That is why I am impressed by Lakewood, Calif., resident Diane Boyd. She and a group of teen-agers organized a ``Say Yes to Abstinence Summer Rally 1995'' at a local park. It featured free food, music and door prizes.
Boyd, a member of Calvary Chapel in Downey, Calif., was inspired by her teen-age daughter's decision to keep her virginity. ``A lot of teen-agers will be losing their chastity this summer,'' she said. ``I want to show them that all virgins are not dorks.''
Boyd is taking a much-needed stand against popular opinion. The word on the streets is that if you're not sexually active, you're uncool, unhip and unattractive. Yet, in my church alone I know many attractive, intelligent and totally available teens, twenty- and thirtysomethings who have sworn off sex before marriage out of deference to God. (And, as a result of their commitment, they don't have to deal with unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and broken promises.)
They are an extremely diverse lot, racially, ethnically, economically. Some have extremely sexually active pasts. Some have never had a sexual relationship. But they are unified in their biblical belief that the body should be respected.
They also like to have fun. How can a person be socially active yet remain sexually pure? Perhaps, this brief dating guide can help:
Two for the road: Two and two, that is. If you feel being alone with the opposite sex will offer too much of a temptation, grab another couple and make it a double.
Hear no evil, see no evil: Choosing a film nowadays is like thrashing your way through the jungle of lust. If you're planning on a video or movie date, read the descriptions carefully. PG movies are safest in mixed company.
Also, be wary of your environment. Some dance clubs and hangouts are simply too hot to handle.
Dressed to kill: My male friends tell me that almost anything can arouse a man sexually. So they don't need the encouragement of the cleavage and latex look that seems to be the fashion statement of choice nowadays. Be modest. This goes for you he-men as well. Don't make the night more difficult than it has to be.
Chastity loves company: Like-minded friends are a huge support. If you date people with the same standards on sexual purity as you, you won't have to worry about wrestling with your conscience (or your partner) on a date.
It's all in your head: Sexual purity is more of an attitude than a bunch of hard and fast rules. The Psalmist asks in Psalm 119:9-11, ``How can a young man (or woman) keep his way pure? By living according to your word. ... I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.'' Prepare yourself by being spiritually minded. Think, RESPECT. (Also, watch how late you stay out. Resistance wears down when fatigue sets in.)
The bigger they come, the harder they fall: Egos, that is. You may think be thinking, ``I'm a mature person. I know how to control myself.'' Fine, go your own way. But remember, pride comes before a fall, and you may end up hurting yourself and others.
Joy Thompson writes editorials for the Long Beach (Calif.) Press-Telegram.
by CNB