Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, November 16, 1995 TAG: 9511160077
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: LISA APPLEGATE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The percentage of children needing therapy for emotional trauma rose from 10 in 1976 to 18 by the beginning of this decade.
In a study of elementary school children in Ohio, 43 percent said they thought it was likely they would be kidnapped at some point in their lives.
Like the darkening smog that hangs over polluted cities across America, argues James Garbarino, those statistics indicate an ever-more toxic environment in which to raise children.
People normally think of toxic elements as pesticides or pollution, he said, but society is full of other toxins - like drive-by shootings and violent television programs.
Garbarino visited Virginia Tech recently and spoke to students and parents on ways to combat those toxins. A professor of family studies at Cornell University and the author of ``Raising Children in a Socially Toxic Environment,'' he has traveled the world working with children victimized by violence - from the trauma of war to gang violence to abuse within the home.
``Just because rural areas are way back on the path,'' he said, ``doesn't mean they aren't headed in the same direction.'' Where weapons were once only seen in the classrooms of the toughest city schools, reports of guns and knives on school property have increased in smaller towns.
This year, Pulaski County expelled a student for bringing a gun to his middle school. A fifth grader in Montgomery County was expelled for having a BB gun on the bus.
Some parents may try to protect their children from violence by incessantly warning them about the dangers. But Garbarino said this ``culture of paranoia'' infuses fear in the way children look at the world. Instead of being focused on the violence, he said, children should be encouraged to believe they can achieve anything.
Part of that confidence develops out of knowing they have adults to protect them, he said. Parents should reinforce the fact that they are the caretakers and should be obeyed.
``Tell them, `If you want to have ice cream, you ask my permission. If a stranger comes and asks you to leave with them, you ask my permission.'''
Parents should try to supervise their children for as long as possible - usually through the middle school years - or find an after-school program to keep them busy. This, he explains, is not so much to stop the harmful behavior a 12-year-old might engage in now, as to prevent the drug use or sexual activity teens might try after being left alone for several years.
He said other members of the community have an obligation to keep an eye on children as well.
``They need to create an environment where kids are surrounded by adults who will take care of them... Also, kids are much less likely to do something wrong if they know someone is watching who will do something about it."
In a time when communities are consolidating schools, often building immense new facilities outside of town, Garbarino encourages small schools. He said high schools where thousands of students compete for attention and acceptance result in excluded teens and potential dropouts.
Also, he said, parents should treat televisions like fat intake - find out how to reduce the dosage so that the effects aren't as harmful. Watching television not only takes away from family interaction time, he said, it exposes children to violence they can't fully comprehend.
Garbarino told of one first-grader who came to school dressed as Freddy Krueger, the murderous character of the ``Nightmare on Elm Street'' movies.
``When someone explained to him that Freddy raped and killed women, his response was, `Cool.'''
Garbarino suggested that PTA groups initiate a campaign to reduce television viewing time, perhaps by encouraging parents to sign a pledge to limit the number of hours their children will be allowed to watch each week.
Finally, he said, parents should encourage public policy that benefits children and families, like increasing the minimum wage and providing health insurance.
Lynda Majors, a parent of two who lives outside Blacksburg, listened attentively to Garbarino's suggestions.
She says she's trying to raise her 4-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son with enough self-esteem to overcome the struggles the professor talked about.
Even in rural Montgomery County, she said, ``It's here. There's violence here.
``I just wonder if we'll wake up before it's too late.''
by CNB