ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, December 1, 1995 TAG: 9512010076
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
It's that natural function that sends kids into fits of laughter that increase in direct proportion to volume and duration of emissions. It can sneak up on you without warning in its S.B.D. (silent but deadly) form. Rover would be the paws-down winner should there be a contest.
It can even ruin a marriage. The South Dakota Supreme Court agreed that the failure of an ``explosive'' marriage was due to the husband's venting in retaliation toward his wife. She gets a sizable alimony payment as a result - yes, the price of gas has gone up in Sioux Falls.
Michael D. Levitt, M.D., an expert on the noxious subject of flatulence, says the average person has 13.6 episodes a day.
It seems we're all contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer (and we're not talking fossil fuels here).
Frank Lathrop has the solution. He has invented the Toot TrappeR Chair Cushion, your personal air-pollution control mechanism, a sort of reverse Whoopie cushion. It's guaranteed to take the fear out of fiber and the chill out of chili.
The disguised carbon air filter instantly absorbs odors, though no mention was made of the muffling of sound. The Toot TrappeR works for six to 12 months and was originally designed with a replacement filter, but that idea was discarded because no one wanted to change the filter.
The device is availablCall (800) 316-TOOT.
Might make a great Christmas gift - anonymous, of course.
LENGTH: Short : 36 linesby CNB