ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, December 3, 1995 TAG: 9512040069
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-24 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
DATELINE: CHRISTIANSBURG
SOURCE: ADRIANNE BEE STAFF WRITER
MEMO: ***CORRECTION***
Published correction ran on December 5, 1995 in Current.
Several paragraphs were missing in a New River Current story Sunday
about Holly Beary at New River Valley Mall. Here are the paragraphs
that were missing:
A guy about 18 approaches the bear. ``Hi, um ... what do you look like?
No I mean, I'm sorry ...''
He looks embarrassed and stops. Perhaps he has just realized the utter
depths he has sunk to - he has attempted to hit on a large stuffed
bear.
I begin to wonder why I took this after-school, prime
time-for-bored-teen-ager shift.
In his defense, this guy does bring something very important to my
attention. ``Hey, your mouth's not moving,'' he says.
He offers to wait and tell me when it begins moving again.
``Uh, how do you fix that?'' he asks as he and a girl next to him
laugh. ``Do you need an operation or something?''
Wise guy. I begin turning every small knob in the box.
``It's moving now, see ya.'' The bear thanks him.
I'm no superhero mind you, but Clark Kent and I - we've got something in common: We're journalists with secret identities.
By day I am a mild-mannered reporter for the New River Current. By night, I am a large, fluffy white bear.
The name's "Holly Beary" and I'm hanging out at The New River Valley Mall this month. My job: being jolly.
Let me explain how this works. Operating on the same principle used by the Wizard of Oz, I sit in a box, cleverly disguised as a big Christmas gift next to "Holly Beary." By video camera, I am able to watch the goings-on outside.
When children walk up, I go into action.
"What do you want for Christmas?" or "Have you been good?" You get the idea.
The bear's mouth moves in sync. I can also do cool things like blink his eyes, all from my little box.
Sounds like a walk in the park. I like children - they say cute things. No problem, right? Spend a day with me in the box. You be the judge.
Hormonally imbalanced boys
When you are a mall bear, the enemy is the teen-age boy. He slinks through the mall with the rest of his pack. The head, or alpha, teen-age boy takes the first step. ``Hey, bear,'' he says, approaching the bear while looking back at the rest of the pack for approval. ``Do you like sitting in that box and being the mall bear?'' The pack laughs.
``I don't know what you mean, I'm right here, how could I be in a box?''
``We know you're in there.''
``Next you're going to tell me that the bearded guy over there isn't Santa.''
``He's not.''
``C'mon, guys, let's not harass the poor ol' bear. It's the holiday season.''
``Do you have buttons in there for security?''
Ah, this will be my escape. ``Sure do; don't make me use them.''
The pack disperses.
The bear then decides to take a short break and grab some coffee. After purchasing an iced mocha, the bear trots back to her lair (a fenced in area with fake snow next to Kay-Bee Toys), waits till no one is around and slips back into her box.
Two new boys, estimated age 15, arrive.
``I just saw you get in that box ... . Hey, will you go out with me?'' one asks.
Hmm, the bear must use greater stealth in future box entrances.
``Look, you're a human; I'm a bear. We're from two different worlds. It would never work.''
The boy does not see the humor in my response. ``C'mon, I know you're in there.''
Suddenly a boy, of appropriate ``talking-to-a-bear'' age approaches.
``I'm Eric. I'm 7 and I want a trampoline for Christmas.''
I am saved.
The evil older boys leave. Their attempts to woo the bear have been in vain.
Technical difficulties
A guy about 18 approaches the bear. ``Hi, um ... what do you look like? No I mean, I'm sorry ...''
He looks embarrassed and stops. Perhaps he has just realized the utter depths he has sunk to - he has attempted to hit on a large stuffed bear.
I begin to wonder why I took this after-school, prime time-for-bored-teen-ager shift.
In his defense, this guy does bring something very important to my attention. ``Hey, your mouth's not moving,'' he says.
He offers to wait and tell me when it begins moving again.
``Uh, how do you fix that?'' he asks as he and a girl next to him laugh. ``Do you need an operation or something?''
Wise guy. I begin turning every small knob in the box.
``It's moving now, see ya.'' The bear thanks him.
Hyperactivity and future shoplifters
``Hi, Holly Beary, do you want to know what I want for Christmas?'' An 8-year-old boy stands before me: Orioles hat and missing teeth.
``Sure.''
Therein lies my error. Had I known what would ensue in the next half-hour I would have flicked the bear eyes shut and put in ``The Slumbering Bear'' tape.
``I want a baseball glove and Mortal Combat III and a VCR and tapes of "Free Willy," "The Fox and the Hound," "Pocahontas," "Aladdin," and I want some Power Ranger toys and ...''
That's when his little brother approaches and joins in. ``I want ...'' His brother, still rambling, cuts him off. The small boy punches him in the side.
``I wanna talk to the bear!'' Then they begin to wrestle each other and roll around on the mall floor. When they have sufficiently beaten upon each other, they get up to continue chatting with the bear.
The bear decides to change the subject. ``So, you like baseball, huh? Are the Orioles your favorite team?''
``I like the Orioles an' the Indians an' the Braves an' the Red Sox an' the
As the boy proceeds to name the entire American and National leagues I begin a silent plea to God, ``Please, bring their parents here. NOW.''
That's when the resourceful little brother comes up with a way to make sure I know what he wants for Christmas.
``This is what I want,'' he says, waving a box with a Power Ranger trapped inside. ``An' I want this, too.'' He has a Karaoke machine in his arms.
``Uh, where did you get that?'' the nervous bear asks. The bear knows what the term ``accomplice'' means.
``From the toy store,'' the small boy answers with a big grin. At the bear's request the child returns the toys. Then his older brother disappears and returns with a baseball glove, price tag still attached.
``This is the one I want,'' he says. Eventually, he returns the glove, also at the bear's suggestion. The older brother begins doing cartwheels and spinning on his back for the bear's entertainment. A bit more than a bear can handle.
``Can ya see me, Holly, can ya see me, look at me!'' he screams.
Deep breaths. Imagine a Mexican beach: You are sipping margaritas. You are not in this box.
The parents eventually return. I lean back in my chair and enjoy my 10-second respite. It is cozy and womb-like in the box. Sleep would be so nice. No more demands of Power Rangers or Barbies.
``Hi, Holly Beary.'' I open my eyes and see a girl clad in a Pocahontas shirt. ``Where do you live?''
I look around at my current surroundings and think "in the bowels of Hades being tormenting for my sins" would be the appropriate response.
``In the North Pole, in a cave next to Santa's place,'' I say instead.
Tough questions
So far, they haven't been too bad. No one's asked me why their parents got a divorce or anything about the origin of life. I've been asked, ``Why aren't you hibernating now like other bears? Why can't me and my mom find shoes for my little brother, Why can't I climb the fence and give you a big hug?'' and the truly unanswerable, "Why do I have to pay money to get my picture taken with Santa?"
Adults
They ask for stuff, too. One woman whispered to me, ``You know what I want for Christmas? A new husband, I've had the one I've got now for 30 years and I'd like to trade him in.'' I referred her to Santa. It was too tall an order for a mere Christmas bear. Two men told me they wanted new wives. A mom with her arms full of kids and shopping bags told me she wanted some peace and quiet. Another woman clutched her chest in terror and screamed when the bear's eyes flipped open and Holly said, ``Hi!''
What I learned
After two days - quite a bit. That time goes by very slowly in a box. That lots of women speed walk around the inside of the mall. That the sound of a toy train going around its toy track and many other battery-operated toys can get pretty annoying after four hours. The same applies to ``It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,'' on the P.A.
I learned that I will sink to depths I never thought I would for a story and a few extra bucks. That when you can't understand what the heck one of these small humans is talking about, it's best to say "OK" or "Well, I hope you get what you want for Christmas."
That if I ever have a child, I want him to be polite like Bradley, the 8-year-old who said, ``Hello, bear, how have you been doing?" And when his parents arrived on the scene: ``It's sure been nice talking with you. I hope you have a happy holiday. I've gotta go home and get some food in me.''
That if I continue with this job, I just might be visited by three ghosts this Christmas Eve.
Believe you me - spending the holiday season inside a box in a mall - it's pretty unbearable.
LENGTH: Long : 189 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: GENE DALTON/Staff. 1. (no caption) ran on NRV-1. 2.by CNBHolly Beary hangs out at the New River Valley Mall with shoppers and
their kids. 3. Children and their parents line up to get a word with
Holly Beary, a main holiday attraction at the New River Valley Mall.
4. Young children are excited to meet Holly Beary. 5. Holly Beary,
also known as Adrianne Bee, talks to children from inside a giant
white gift box. 6. She views the action outside via a video camera.