ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, December 15, 1995 TAG: 9512150044
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-3 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
DATELINE: BLACKSBURG
SOURCE: ADRIANNE BEE STAFF WRITER
"I lost my tooth. Wanna see it?"
"If I had to be stranded on a desert island I'd take some chocolate."
"I drank too much apple juice; I'm gonna have to go to the bathroom all day long."
This was the conversation in the green room before a Playmakers & Co. matinee performance of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" (if you snagged tickets you're lucky; the show sold out all performances).
In this crowded room of 26 children and a few frazzled adults (``I've learned a new meaning for the word patience" says Brian Compton, a.k.a. the Rev. Hopkins) you can quickly separate the Bradleys from the Herdmans.
The Herdmans are the dirty ones. The ones who invade the Bradleys' church one Sunday and take over the annual Christmas pageant with their own interpretation - "the Wise Men are a bunch of dirty old spies and Herod needs a good beating." And Gladys Herdman's take on the Angel of the Lord: "Hey! Unto you a child is born!"
With streaks of muddy makeup on her face, Lauren Trice, 10, says the best part of playing Claudia Herdman is "I can be mean." She smiles and adds, "The opposite of what I am."
"I play her sister, I'm mean, too," says Christina Longobardi, 11. "But it's not hard because I can be a real brat sometimes."
Director Nora Hanson is going over the principal parts of "a good play" before the curtain opens. She asks the cast for examples of being positive ("If you think negatively, then something bad might happen," Lauren says), energy ("That's something that happens when you drink too much Coke," says Karen Alexander, who plays Beth Bradley).
Projection. A small voice up front volunteers to explain the term. "Did everybody hear Christopher?" Hanson asks.
"No," replies the cast.
``He said `if you don't project people in the back can't hear you,''' Hanson says.
Zakari Kurtz, 10, says he likes assuming the identity of Leroy Herdman "because I can push people around on stage and I don't get in trouble like I do in school." His mom, Susan Kurtz, says the best part of being a "Herdman mom" is that you don't have to wash clothes for a couple of weeks.
Zakari's sister, Samantha, who plays Juanita, strides by Leroy and says "Ewww, a Herdman." The small strawberry haired and freckled girl then goes over to Compton and attempts to climb up his legs.
"What I need right now is prayer," he says, clad in a clerical collar for his part. Hanson says the adults in the play "have all tried to find little corners" of safety from the pulls and tugs of small hands.
Barbara Simpson, who plays Grace the Bradley mom, says when you're the only adult on stage with 26 children "it's up to you if something goes wrong." Such as?
According to Imogene Herdman (Kati Rash), the baby Jesus' head has fallen off a couple times. "You just have to keep going when that happens," Alexander says.
Soon a small mob gathers to tell of more mishaps. Discovering mold on the bread to be eaten during the play, a baby angel arriving on stage long after her cue ("she had to go to the bathroom," someone explained) and the time Zakari was in University Mall checking the gum-ball machines for money when he was supposed to be on stage.
There is also the legendary "toilet incident," told eagerly by a group of girls.
Apparently one child, whose name will be withheld to protect his identity, was caught trying to retrieve a quarter out of a toilet in one of the bathrooms. He first tried using a toilet brush to reach the fallen coin, then decided putting his hand in a garbage bag would be the solution. Too soon, he was discovered and pulled away from the commode. He was out 25 cents.
The girls flush the toilet story and start talking about the book their play is based on.
"I've read "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" six times."
"I've read it 10 times."
"I've read it 32 times."
"It's claustrophobic in here."
"You don't even know what that means."
"Do too."
"You get on my nerves."
Before the performance the cast holds hands and wishes each other "Break a Leg."
Seems like a dangerous thing to say to this bunch.
The Herdmans go on stage and are introduced as "absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world. They lied and stole and smoked cigars (even the girls) and talked dirty and hit little kids and cussed their teachers and took the name of the Lord in vain and set fire to Fred Shoemaker's old broken-down toolhouse."
As they step back behind the curtain while the scenery changes, Longobardi whispers, "We're really not that bad."
LENGTH: Medium: 97 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: ALAN KIM/STAFF. Shortly before the curtain goes up onby CNB"The Best Christmas Pageant Ever," Rebecca Barbeau powders her face
while Betsy Carstensen brushes her hair. The Blacksburg youngsters
are among more than two dozen New River Valley children
participating in Playmakers and Co.'s production, final
performances of which are scheduled this weekend. color.