ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Tuesday, December 19, 1995 TAG: 9512190023
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: B-5 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: CHARLOTTESVILLE (AP)
SOURCE: RONALD J. HANSEN THE DAILY PROGRESS
Charlotte Thaniel, mother of two grown children and grandmother of four little ones, dared to do what most do not: She volunteered to be a mentor for a juvenile delinquent.
She could say ``Adam'' is not her child, not her problem.
But she didn't.
Instead, she's trying to help a 13-year-old boy's dreams of basketball glory come true while teaching coping skills for everyday life.
``I'm concerned about the future generation,'' Thaniel said. ``I see too many negative things going on. I felt if I could make a difference in one kid's life, it was worth it.''
To make her difference, Thaniel, a 53-year-old Charlottesville resident, joined Youth Empowered for Success, or YES.
The program, in its first year, is run by Earl L. Pendleton, casework supervisor of court services in Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court in Charlottesville.
YES couples responsible adults with troubled youths who are likely to respond to the tutelage of people such as Thaniel, who works as an administrative assistant for a limousine service.
Juvenile Court Judge Jannene L. Shannon, who helped develop the YES concept with Pendleton, said she is excited by the program.
``I don't have a lot of data on the subject, but I can't believe that it would be anything but helpful,'' she said.
One of the best features of YES is its operating cost: nothing. All the mentors are volunteers, and people such as Pendleton are already working with the juveniles in another capacity.
The timing of YES couldn't be better as far as Shannon is concerned.
``Right now our needs are increasing, and our resources are decreasing,'' she said.
Few have stepped forward for the challenge of being a mentor, Pendleton said. He attributes this to the bad image juvenile delinquents have earned for themselves.
Adam has shoplifted and gotten in fights, Thaniel said.
But Thaniel quickly realized from his family background that Adam is not a bad person.
``I would consider him a lost child,'' Thaniel said. ``He's had some disappointments in his life. He's afraid to attach himself to someone.''
Thaniel said just getting the boy to open up this summer proved difficult - but not impossible.
``He was sort of in a shell,'' she said. ``I thought, `Ooh, this is going to take quite a bit of work.'''
Basketball broke the ice.
Adam loves to play. She likes to watch. After his practices, they talked about his game. Eventually, they could talk about other things.
Thaniel bought him a T-shirt that said, ``Never give up,'' and told him that would be their theme.
Now they share weekend lunches and do things together to build a friendship - and trust.
Like many boys his age, Adam wants to play pro basketball. Thaniel said that's fine, but the best way to make it happen is to become a good student, too.
In an effort to get Adam to use his competitive energies in areas other than basketball, Thaniel has him competing with his younger brother and sister for good grades in school.
Adam is motivated by the short-term reward - spending money - but Thaniel is looking to his future.
She doesn't mind spending her own money on Adam, but she is quick to point out that she's not his baby-sitter or his mother.
Instead, she is someone he can count on to be there and help him make good decisions.
``He sees me like a friend, like a big pal,'' she said.
The process of transforming Adam from a teen-ager angry at the world to a motivated young man with self-control is slow.
Fights in school have gotten Adam suspended twice this year.
But he has improved, Thaniel said. The fights came early in the year and Adam seems to be responding to her message.
``I told him sometimes we don't have control over everything in our lives, but we have to have control of ourselves,'' Thaniel said.
``Some of these children just need to know somebody cares about them.''
Thaniel serves as a mentor of sorts for Adam's mother, a single woman trying to raise four children alone.
Thaniel is obligated to work with Adam for nine months, but expects their relationship to last much longer.
``I don't think I could lose touch with him,'' she said. ``I would love to see him through all the way to when he becomes the person he wants to be. I would love to see him become a pro basketball player and be at his first game.
``That's when the job would be complete.''
LENGTH: Medium: 91 linesby CNB