ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, December 20, 1995 TAG: 9512200026
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGlE
See? I told you about Barbie, didn't I? Worked my fingers to the bone on a keyboard telling you she is anything but sweet and innocent. But nobody listens to me.
You have to believe The New York Times, though. Some people don't understand a lot of what it says, but we're talking authority here.
I'm talking about a recent piece in The Times by M.G. Lord - a man who has written an unauthorized Barbie biography, for Pete's sake - who says Barbie has been seen by some folks as a ``dark evanescence of childhood sexuality.''
I don't know what that means exactly, but if we still had Bendable Barbie on the premises, I'd probably call the law.
Mr. Lord also says Barbie has been ``metamorphosed,'' which sounds kind of indecent to me.
Not only that. He says Barbie is a ``muse and a metaphor.'' Not to mention a ``voluptuous clothes horse.''
And I thought all that stuff about materialism and having an 18-inch waist, great abs and hot cars was bad enough.
The time may have come for mothers to say: ``I don't care what you want for Christmas, Katrina. The person who brings a dark evanescence of childhood sexuality, let alone a muse or a metaphor, into this house is going to be very sorry.''
If my girls were still at the Barbie age, I certainly wouldn't go out and fight for a holiday Barbie or buy a version of her wearing the dress Scarlett O'Hara made out of the curtains at Tara.
You may not believe this, but Mr. Lord's comments were made as he reviewed a Barbie exhibition in New York. As a Radford boy, I'll tell you one thing: Give me a ticket to a singing Christmas tree any day.
This thing is called ``Art, Design and Barbie: The Evolution of A Cultural Icon.''
I can tell you from experience that you don't want to have a whole lot to do with cultural icons. I never met one with any sense of humor whatever.
And speaking of senses of humor, there is a piece of statuary that depicts Barbie being held by King Kong. Mr. Lord says Barbie and the ape are ``totems of low culture.''
I don't think that's fair to King Kong, but it fits Barbie pretty good.
Apparently, Ken has been left out as usual. I hope he found some nice girl with a 25-inch waist, and good country girl legs, who can work in the fields all day and still fix him a simple, but nutritious, supper.
I'll be back. I'm going to look up ``evanescence.''
LENGTH: Medium: 52 linesby CNB