ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, January 24, 1996 TAG: 9601240006
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
There's nothing else for it, chaps. Americans who care about the quality of life in this country must now be in favor of the Pittsburgh Steelers winning the Super Bowl.
I'm frank enough to say that I wish the Green Bay Packers had beaten Dallas in the division championship game, but as some sports print/television people have probably said or written by now, the Gods of the Gridiron have spoken.
The Packers are simply a bunch of lovable guys who jump into the stands after touchdowns to get close to the people who pay to see them play. According to the sports people, they often play "under gun-metal gray skies."
They seem to have a certain respect for the finer things of life that we don't find in the Cowboys, or in the Steelers , for that matter.
Your Aunt Zelda could have these guys over for roast beef, and they'd know how to behave themselves, and they'd know a dessert spoon when they saw one. Probably help with the dishes, too.
These guys have an ordained minister who plays defense kind of like Attila the Hun. He could say grace, although you'd have to say he is not too good about offering the other cheek on the playing field.
And your Aunt Zelda would knit them little warm hoods to wear under their helmets when they played on what at least 10,000 sports people have called "the frozen tundra" over the past couple of weeks.
I have the feeling Aunt Zelda wouldn't have the Cowboys to supper, and if she did, she'd probably spend the evening correcting their table manners.
If the Cowboys started jumping into the stands after touchdowns, I expect the owner would charge the fans $250 a jump.
I can't imagine Aunt Zelda giving the time of day to the owner or that guy who can play eight sports, plus championship croquet, wears funny hats and has an ego that just about fits into Texas.
It's entirely possible, I think, for Aunt Zelda to be driven to savagery by Emmitt Smith - which is to say you might find her screaming for the above-mentioned reverend to seriously disable him.
She should have my troubles. Both of my grandsons have Cowboys' jerseys with that guy's name on the back.
I have to go now. I have this meditation exercise that's supposed to prepare me to root for the Steelers in the Super Bowl.
But don't be surprised if you catch me watching the History Channel when the big game is played.
LENGTH: Short : 50 linesby CNB