ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, January 28, 1996 TAG: 9601260019
SECTION: ECONOMY PAGE: 13 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER SPECIAL TO THE ROANOKE TIMES
Chronic complaining at work suggests:
The complainer is seeking attention and, lacking suitable topics such as how to balance the national budget, uses complaints about his job as a conversation starter and attention getter.
A chronic complainer has personality problems and needs to change - either attitude or job.
The organization has problems and needs to change.
If the complainer is obviously bidding for attention, several approaches come to mind. One, guaranteed to stop the conversation, is to exclaim with great feigned concern: "How awful! Why, the owners are good friends, and I know they'll be devastated to learn that things are so bad here. But when I tell them at dinner tomorrow night, I just know they'll want to do something to set things right."
Another is the topper. Your task is to outdo whatever terrible thing they're experiencing. A little like your father's having walked five miles to school - uphill both ways. Inventiveness counts. Boring is even better; begin these lengthy monologues with, "Well, this reminds me of the time ..."
If all else fails, ignore them. If they can't get a response, they'll save their complaints for someone who will listen.
Personality-troubled chronic complainers grouse about everything. Little suits them; they can't be satisfied. It's a result of self-esteem problems, self-monitoring difficulties and a skewed orientation to life.
In general, people with "high self-esteem are more satisfied with their jobs than those with low self-esteem," said Stephen P. Robbins, professor of organizational behavior at San Diego State University. Those "with low self-esteem are dependent on the receipt of positive evaluations from others. As a result, they are more likely to seek approval from others."
If they can't get approval from supervisors, they'll often seek it from customers - not through excellent service, but through complaining. A response that includes "you poor thing" goes a long way in approval ratings.
Robbins also refers to a personality trait called "self-monitoring." An individual's ability to adjust behavior to external factors prevents most workers from letting customers know when they're unhappy.
Improving one's daily orientation, self-esteem, and self-monitoring capabilities often requires professional help. Counseling can improve the quality of the complainer's life overall.
Lacking that, an individual who continually says spiteful things about his job, co-workers, bosses and the company can embark on a self-improvement plan. A trip to the library for books on positive thinking and self-esteem is a first step.
Even though grievances shouldn't be shared with customers, some complainers do have legitimate gripes.
A recent survey, published in the "Working Communicator" newsletter, finds that employees and employers think differently. The wide gap in what supervisors think motivates employees and what employees actually want accounts for considerable employee whining.
Supervisors listed, in order of importance, what they thought employees most wanted. Heading the list was good wages, followed by job security, promotion opportunities, good working conditions, interesting work, loyalty from management, tactful discipline, appreciation, understanding and feeling "in" on things.
But what employees listed, the study said, was: appreciation, feeling "in" on things, understanding attitudes, job security, good wages, interesting work, promotion opportunities, loyalty from management, good working conditions and tactful discipline.
Job security, while important, doesn't count for much if employees don't feel appreciated and "in" on events and decisions affecting their companies.
- Camille Wright Miller is a columnist whose Working It Out feature appears Sundays in The Roanoke Times Business section. She also is president of The Virginia Group, a Lexington-based organizational consulting firm.
LENGTH: Medium: 77 linesby CNB