ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, February 16, 1996 TAG: 9602160084
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
It's a normal day in America when...
-60 percent of us do not floss our teeth.
-Seven out of 100 floss with hair.
-54 percent of men don't put the toilet seat down.
-People cuss an average of 16 times.
-About one in four freely nibble grapes, cherries, loose candies and nuts while grocery shopping.
-46 percent curse, name-call or salute with their longest finger after being cut off in traffic.
-47 percent drink out of the milk carton or eat ice cream from the container.
-55 percent of women drive with both paws on the wheel (vs. 35 percent of men).
-45 percent obey the speed limit.
-Three percent change their sheets. (Most Americans change them weekly.)
-About 29 percent of couples have a fight over money - usually one's spendthrift ways.
-One out of five tell a lie, from a little white one to a juicy whopper.
Do we believe there will be payback for our sins? You bet. Nine out of 10 believe in divine retribution, but two thirds don't think they'll actually burn in hell for their bad habits.
They might just be made to spend eternity telling the truth, driving with both hands on the wheel, blessing idiot drivers and constantly flossing their teeth.
- From ``Are You Normal?'' by Bernice Kanner
LENGTH: Short : 39 linesby CNB