ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, February 21, 1996 TAG: 9602210014
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
Here's a nice thought for all of you who like to zip down to Cape Hatteras for a little bit of fishing: You could come home in a box, Charlie.
This great news is brought to us by the scientists. You know who they are. They're always inventing ways to put you in a box.
These people say there has been an increase of phytoplankton, which is an algae and not good for fish. Or you guys in the waders.
Worse yet, there's a version of this stuff called Pfiesteria piscicida, and it can play the deuce with fish along the North Carolina coast. That is, it kills them and presumably their bloated bodies wash up in front of your motel in Salvo.
I don't want to go into too much detail here, but this piscicida thing suffocates fish, gives them sores all over their bodies and then feeds on the sores. It is not the kind of thing you would want to pose with for a picture to send your Aunt Zelda.
This dreadful business, scientists say, may be connected to global warming - of which we have not seen a whole lot this year.
The really enjoyable thing here is that these algae can spread through the air and clock you out while you're fishing or walking around looking for driftwood with your vodka martini in a plain paper cup.
There it is. One minute you've caught enough bluefish to feed the family for the rest of the summer and the next you're not breathing and you have all these sores.
Or you've just found this great piece of wood - probably from a ship that went down in 1865 - and your husband can't wait to wire it as lamp for the den and BOOM! you're no longer breathing in your bikini.
These scientists can get you a little crazy, and I think maybe that's what happened to the Lost Colony - global warming and the settlers falling down breathless with sores all over them.
And somebody wrote "Croatoan" on a tree and that really meant: "We have been felled by Pfiesteria piscicida. Which is kind of hard to write on the trunk of a tree when you can't breathe and there are sores all over your body."
Sure. You could say let's don't go to the beach anymore, and ruin the North Carolina tourist industry.
Sure. Stay home, and those scientists will get you with radon right there in your own basement while you're on the treadmill.
Of course, I don't think you get sores all over your body when you're killed that way.
LENGTH: Medium: 52 linesby CNB