ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, February 26, 1996 TAG: 9602270148
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
I don't like to pick on February. It's just that it's been lousier than usual this year.
The other Sunday, for example, my grandsons beat me playing a word game on the computer.
I've been in the word business for more than 40 years. They're both still in grammar school.
I got one of those steroid shots in my lower back. Boy. You talk about fun.
I lied here recently about not getting mushy on Valentine's Day. I went out to buy some candy.
I picked up this nice little heart-shaped box and the ladies at the shop said What!!!! You mean you're not going to buy a card to go with the candy, you barbarian?
And I said, mon dieu! How could I have been so uncivilized and uncouth?
I picked out a fairly dumb card and staggered a little bit when I found out it cost $4.15. In 1948, I could have eaten for a week on my meal ticket at the Blue Room Restaurant in Salem for money like that.
They had great grits and eggs for 35 cents at that place.
I did learn from my helpmate, who knows the card trade as well as anybody, that you can look on the backs of those suckers and see how much they cost. The next time, if there is one, I'll buy something for $1.95.
Which still would have bought a lot of grits and eggs in 1948.
The way this month has gone has melted my thin veneer of urbanity, worldliness and sense of self.
After my dog Millie woke me to go out at 3:45 the other morning, I switched on the TV to avoid doing violence to myself or Millie.
If Millie hadn't scratched to get back in at the right moment, I would have ordered one of those tapes that give you great abdominal muscles in eight minutes. Not to mention the eight-minute buns tape you get free.
I know that having sensational abs is good for your back, but I wouldn't want the above to get out in the neighborhood. Especially that part about the eight-minute buns.
But I'll be all right. Spring is coming and daylight saving time and then those crazy, hazy, broiling days of summer.
I'm planning an arm-wrestling competition with my grandsons next Sunday. If I win, they have to take the next steroid shot.
LENGTH: Short : 49 linesby CNB