ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, April 5, 1996 TAG: 9604050067
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: FRIDAY SOMETHING
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
``A'' used to be for apple or Alice, if you were skipping rope. Nowadays, it's for abracadaver, autoerraticism and amfibious.
You won't find these words in your Webster's.
Readers of New York Magazine are invited monthly to sharpen their pencils and word-wits by entering linguistic contests. These competitions have, apparently, been going on for some time - competition No. 845 asked for invented words beginning with the letter ``a,'' along with definitions.
Abracadaver is the body of Houdini, also defined as ``dead man walking.''
Autoerraticism is the inability to keep both hands on the wheel, probably an affliction of the '90s, what with so much else to do while we're driving - smoking, talking on the cell phone, replenishing lip gloss and holding little Poochie (comes only in white).
Amfibious means able to lie on land or sea (linguists, take note: that's lie, not lay).
Armagideon is the last printing of hotel-room Bibles, perhaps coming during the apocalypso (the end of Jamaican culture).
Agraphobia is the fear of leaving the Taj Mahal, not to be confused with angoraphobia, fear of appearing in public in a fuzzy sweater or arachnagoraphobia, the fear of crowds of spiders.
Astairemaster is dance-workout equipment, which may lead you to absession - compulsive bodybuilding - which could then enhance your alptitude - ability to leap tall mountains in a single bound.
AAAA is a new 12-step program for recovering motorists, maybe the road to a cure for autoerraticism.
LENGTH: Short : 38 linesby CNB