ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, June 5, 1996 TAG: 9606050070
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C-5 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: CHARLOTTESVILLE
SOURCE: ZINIE CHEN ASSOCIATED PRESS
OFTEN, PEOPLE LIE to enhance their self-esteem, to get others to like or respect them, or to spare others' feelings, new studies show.
``The check's in the mail.''
``No, you haven't gained weight.''
``I am not a crook.''
We've all heard those famous fibs, and perhaps even told a few in our time. Lying is a part of everyday life, and new studies by a University of Virginia psychologist confirm it.
``Most people think lying is manipulative and exploitative,'' psychology Professor Bella DePaulo said. ``There is still that element - lying for grades and promotions, etc. But those lies are not the most common ones.''
More often, people lie to enhance their self-esteem, to get others to like or respect them, and to spare others' feelings, DePaulo said.
``There usually has been an assumption that lying is this really awful behavior in pursuit of people's materialistic and crass self-interest,'' she said. ``It's often really about feeling better about yourself.''
The two studies, which appear in this month's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explore what kind of people lie and how often they do it.
DePaulo and Deborah A. Kashy, an assistant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University, analyzed journal entries of 77 students at the University of Virginia and 70 residents of Charlottesville. The 147 subjects recorded their social interactions every day for a week.
By analyzing more than 1,500 lies, the researchers found that the undergraduates fibbed in one of every three interactions. The Charlottesville residents lied in one of every five interactions.
Lies were categorized as self-centered - told to enhance the liar's image or personal advantage or avoid embarrassment - or altruistic, told to make someone else feel good.
In general, people tell many more self-centered lies, such as ``I am not a crook.'' Women tell more altruistic lies to other women, such as ``You look great,'' and ``I agree with you.''
DePaulo and Kashy found that people most likely to lie are extroverted, often manipulative, and care deeply about what others think of them. Those who reported more satisfaction with the quality of their same-gender relationships told fewer lies overall, and the lies they did tell tended to be altruistic.
Because lying is an everyday process, people don't think minor lies are serious, don't plan lies and don't worry too much about being caught, the research found.
Margaret Farley, professor of Christian ethics at Yale University Divinity School, says all ethical systems traditionally condemn lying.
``The prohibition is based on at least two premises: We can't communicate with each other at all if we can't count on truth-telling,'' she said. ``The second prohibition is that it can be coercive. If I've intentionally deceived you, then I've coerced your choice. It's called fraud sometimes.''
But some lies are just part of ordinary discourse, ``a sort of agreed-upon mode of conversing with people that we take with a grain of salt,'' she said.
``All of these things are a matter of degrees,'' she said.
Bill Tucker, a sales consultant at Dick Strauss Ford in Chesterfield County, says the automotive sales industry often gets a bum rap for being dishonest.
``I don't personally think we need to lie to make a sale,'' Tucker said. ``If a customer comes up to a purple car, I won't try to push it on them even though it's been sitting there for 120 days and we need to get it off the lot.
``I get lied to by customers more than we lie to them,'' he said. ``People trying to get more on their trade-in don't reveal problems [with their cars]. They probably think we're a big business and probably can absorb their costs.''
Are people lying more than they used to? No, but it's easier to distrust people we don't know well, Farley said.
``It's part of the depersonalization of society,'' she said. ``But what's important isn't just pointing fingers at others; it's important to examine ourselves from time to time as well.''
DePaulo says that being honest all the time isn't a great idea either because the truth often hurts.
``I can go as far as saying it would be a disaster if everyone tried to tell the truth all the time,'' she said. ``If you tell the whole truth, you start alienating people. You'd have to go back and apologize because you've made a mess of your interpersonal relationships.''
LENGTH: Medium: 85 linesby CNB