ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Saturday, June 22, 1996 TAG: 9606250014
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: B-10 EDITION: METRO
TYPE: MOVIE REVIEW
SOURCE: KATHERINE REED STAFF WRITER
So, I hear some people found the whole helicopter-in-the-tunnel scene in "Mission Impossible" slightly implausible.
You want to hear implausible?
Try this. You've got this super-intelligent government agent John "Johnny" Kruger, who can hack into secure systems, catch a parachute in mid-air (then get into it and land somewhat safely) and knock bad guys to the ground while executing a good-looking back flip.
But he can't figure out that his boss, played by James Caan, is the scum of the earth.
If I were checking security codes in my office at the Witness Protection Program and something looking like Caan came slithering through the door, I'd be up on my chair shrieking, "Rodent! Rodent!"
But no, Johnny (Arnold Schwarzenegger) gives Caan's bad-guy character Robert Deguerin crinkly, lovey-dovey eyes. The hell spawn is apparently Johnny's MENTOR, it is quickly revealed.
This little casting problem makes Schwarzenegger's character look like a giant-sized dummy. So it's a good thing that director Charles Russell gets right down to making a conventional action film post haste.
I heard some apparent Beavis and Butthead enthusiast right behind me as I was leaving "Eraser" comment, "It was GREAT. `Mission Impossible' s---ed.'''
And, by golly, I knew exactly what he meant (even though I disagree). He was talking about the guns.
First, there's this really cool gun that sends corkscrew nails all over the place in one, super-duper explosion of pure fun. Then there's the railgun, the little item that is the center of the utterly predictable plot. The railgun doesn't use ammunition of any kind. It simply X-rays its target before disassembling it with a madcap blue ray that "travels at the speed of light.'' (This is a line that Vanessa Williams' character is forced to utter with a straight face, bless her heart.)
Then there are all those other boring guns that you've seen before. And the tiny dagger that Johnny slips into the buckle of his super-hero belt. And the grenades. And the many, many explosions.
I'm not saying "Eraser" is a bad movie. Within the confines of this limited (and increasingly tiresome) genre, Russell has some big fun with The Big Guy and His Big Guns.
I'm just saying, who needs it? Oh, you?
Sorry to hear that.
E-mail Katherine at movieyak@aol.com if you want to talk about the movies.
Eraser ** 1/2
A Warner Bros. release, showing at Salem Valley 8 and Valley View Cinema. Rated R for extraordinarily graphic and relentless violence. 114 minutes.
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