ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, October 23, 1996 TAG: 9610230026
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BEN BEAGLE
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
Now they've gone and done this research that shows people are kinder when they're around nice smells.
They did this at a New York state shopping mall and found that the smell of coffee brewing or cookies baking made people more apt to change a dollar bill for a fellow person - which is not all that big a deal in the kindness department, if you ask me.
Same thing happened when these teen-agers dropped their pens. Kindly, sniffing people picked them up. Boy. Talk about generosity.
And somebody has invented a combination air filter, white-noise generator and fragrance producer to reduce stress in confined spaces - such as a dorm room or a cell at San Quentin.
(The very minute I find out what white noise is, I'll get back to you.)
I don't want to belittle anybody's research, but I'll bet millions of husbands every morning come into a kitchen filled with the odor of brewing coffee and nail their wives for spending too much at the supermarket.
I'll also bet there are people out there who, no matter what they might be smelling, wouldn't pick you up if you fell down and started bleeding out your ears.
Personally, the odor of frying bacon - which I don't smell all that much anymore - makes me gain five pounds before I'm through brushing my teeth, and this doesn't put me in a real good mood.
Such naysaying aside, we live in a country that goes nut over things like this.
Never mind white noise. The spray-can industry is going to come out with all these scents that supposedly make people do good things.
Thus, somebody probably called Orville will buy a spray that smells like his Aunt Hermione's vegetable soup simmering and will squirt it on or near his boss when he asks for a raise.
Orville may get the raise. I think it's more likely his boss will have him arrested for simple assault.
I, on the other hand, would be an absolute pushover for a spray that duplicated the smell of lilacs along with the cooking odors of chicken-fried steak and lasagna.
I'd change anybody's dollar or pick up any pen any dumb teen-ager wanted to drop.
I should say here that this opens up the possibility that there are certain smells that make people mean. We'll save that for another day.
Except to say that I smell broccoli steaming, and you won't believe the argument we're going to have about the grocery bill.
LENGTH: Medium: 53 linesby CNB