ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Saturday, November 16, 1996 TAG: 9611190068
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 12 EDITION: METRO
TYPE: MOVIE REVIEW
SOURCE: KATHERINE REED STAFF WRITER
Just what the world needs: a 90-minute commercial for Warner Brothers, the NBA and that valuable product called Michael Jordan.
And if it weren't bad enough that "Space Jam" makes no effort whatsoever to be about anything, it goes one worse and manages to be both racist and sexist.
At least it bothers me some that when the tiny, squeaky-voiced aliens steal the basketball talent they need to beat The Toons, they suck it out of the bodies of five NBA players - four of whom are black. Then, they morph into these enormous, terrifying, unmistakably African-American monsters. They're not funny at all; and believe me, this is the kind of movie you're hoping will at least be entertaining.
Then there's the scene in which Charles Barkley, one of the players who has lost his talent to the aliens, is walking along dejectedly in an urban neighborhood. He spots a bunch of young women playing a game, goes to the fence and asks to play. Well, of course, he's welcome: He's Charles Barkley. But he can't even beat the girls! Furthermore, he feels so awful about it, this script sends him to the shrink, where he describes with anguish the little "blond-headed" female who kicked his butt.
Oh, but apparently someone thought they would answer that problem with "Lola Bunny." Remember Jessica from "Roger Rabbit''? Same tune, different song. This one is a basketball player for The Toons, attired in a cropped T-shirt and short-shorts. She's some male cartoonist's fantasy in ink as she slithers onto the court, batting her eyes at Bugs and friends.
But don't you dare call her "doll."
This is not suitable entertainment for kids. It is the worst kind of garbage. And so it would seem Michael Jordan, the role model, has apparently been abducted by aliens.
Space Jam *
A Warner Bros. Family Entertainment release showing at Salem Valley 8 and Valley View Mall 6. Rated PG for some offensive material. At almost 90 minutes, it's too long.
LENGTH: Short : 47 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan shoot air balls in ``Spaceby CNBJam.''