ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, November 21, 1996 TAG: 9611210007
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BETH MACY
SOURCE: BETH MACY
The cool armor was off.
The slang was taken care of and out of the way: shouted out, then written down on the board, then strictly forbidden.
The guys - all eight of them, all William Fleming High School students - were instructed to use only proper terms (penis, vagina, intercourse) for the rest of the lunchtime rap session.
They referred to each other by nicknames such as Sugar Daddy, Squeeze, Day Day, Dark and Smooth, and Raw Dogg.
They talked about really difficult, really sensitive issues, like the following scenario: A summer party on a Friday night. There's a girl wearing a short skirt and tight cropped top. ``She's phat'' - meaning very sexy, very cool.
She wants to go outside and talk alone. Will you kiss her before you even know her name? And later, if you do kiss her, how far will it go?
If you decide to go all the way, what will you do if she insists ``you don't need to use a condom''?
Anthony Drakeford, the For Males Only counselor who led the young men through the scenario, stops to chide the three guys who allowed the fantasy to go too far; participants were told to sit down in their chairs at the point when they would have bailed out of the scenario.
``You three were standing there butt naked ready to do something!'' he tells them.
There is raucous laughter in the room.
When it is suggested that it might be OK to have sex with a young woman if she's on the pill - but without a condom - Drakeford tells them: ``Some girls might think, `I got HIV, and I'm going to give it to anybody I can because I'm not going down alone.'
``I mean, nobody walks around coughing with a capital A on her chest.''
Later, when the topic turns to sexual harassment, one of the guys explains that ``sometimes when a girl says no, she's really just teasing. Some girls just like to play with you.''
The rest of the guys tell him emphatically: ``No means no.''
* * *
The For Males Only teen-pregnancy-prevention program has changed since its inception in 1989. Funded by the Roanoke Health Department, it initially targeted at-risk neighborhoods. Drakeford, its first employee, did most of his work in the community, offering educational programs, contraceptives and a mentor's voice - and shoulder - to his 70 percent-male audience.
In the past year, the program expanded with the addition of another employee, 24-year-old Jon Morris, and the addition of a new work site: the public schools. The lunchtime programs are new to students at both William Fleming and Patrick Henry high schools; a similar breakfast program is being offered at James Madison Middle School.
Four years ago, Drakeford was encouraged not to bring up the hot issue of contraceptives in a public-school setting. But sitting in a conference room of the Fleming-Ruffner teen health center on a recent Thursday, he said, ``It's more accepted now to go in the schools and talk about sex issues.
``They saw that it had been working before [elsewhere], and they said, `A lot of these kids, they need this.'''
The rap groups were the brainchild of Jon Morris, who read about a similar program in California. Told that the program would be too expensive to operate here without additional funding - or charging the teens to participate - Morris decided to rely on his own initiative instead. That, and the good will of a handful of Roanoke restaurateurs, who have donated all the food.
He's been surprised not only by the cooperation of big-name chains like McDonald's and Taco Bell, but also by the smaller, locally run places like Boomers, Hurley's and Brambleton Deli.
``The ones who don't have as much money seem even more willing to help,'' Morris says. ``They have that local awareness of the problem.''
It's called combating teen pregnancy - without attending the first public meeting on the issue, without being able to recite the fact that Roanoke had 339 teen pregnancies in 1995 and a rate that remains twice the state average.
It's also called building community.
Morris and Drakeford would like to reach more than the 50 to 100 guys they talk to each week. Their programs are so popular, they've had requests from as far away as Covington and Big Stone Gap.
While we all know that it takes two for a pregnancy to occur, there's still a marked disparity between the number of prevention programs offered to females vs. males.
``The openness of the program is the key,'' Morris says. ``In most settings, these guys are very macho and don't want to open up or ask for help. But here, they can be themselves.''
Judging by the unabashed candor at the recent session, Morris isn't exaggerating. As they leave the session, he tells the guys: ``You all have so much potential, you don't need to waste it on a girl. You all can be anything you want to be.''
They file out quietly as if they are still mulling over his words.
As if it is music - and motivation - to their ears.
For more information on For Males Only, or to donate food for the mealtime programs, call Jon Morris at 857-7284.
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