ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, December 22, 1996 TAG: 9612230173
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-2 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
COLUMN: guest column
Holidays are upon us. With them come thoughts of lost loved ones who will not be present to share in holiday festivities. This year will be different for those of you who are grieving. However, it still can be meaningful. This does not mean you will not experience pain, but at the end of the pain is hope.
Hope in what?
* Find hope in living loved ones. Lean on them for support. You can benefit from people who understand and care. Include those you love in your holiday celebrations. Exchange fond memories of the deceased, reminisce over the family scrapbooks, continue your traditional rituals, or attend a religious service together.
*Find hope in sharing. By sharing you can bring meaning to your life and to those who benefit from your kindness. Give your time and/or special skills to help a local organization, soup kitchen or hospital. Donate to a favorite charity in memory of the person you have lost. Remember, "by helping others we help ourselves".
*Find hope in remembering. By remembering your loved one you are making sure that he or she lives on in you and in others. Plan a special memorial to acknowledge the significance of the loss during the holidays, or find a local congregation or hospice that holds ceremonies of remembrance. If you are not comfortable "going public" at this point in your grieving process, trust yourself to know what you need.
*Find hope in hope. Draw strength from hope. As James Miller said, "With hope, you can heal. With hope, you can venture forward. With hope, you can be yourself again. With hope, you can find a way to carry with you the one you so miss and the one you love."
New River Valley Hospice provides bereavement services to the New River Valley Community. Contact Valarie Tucker at (540) 381-5001 or (800) 834-9281 for more information.
Books to help grievers get through
Here are a few books that might help you get through the holiday season:
*"One Holiday At A Time" by Marie Zegarelli. The author talks about the holiday and the seasons and presents suggested coping skills to get through each time.
*"The Toughest Days Of Grief" by Meg Woodsen. She focuses on the pain that comes with special times.
*"How Will I Get Through The Holidays?" by James E. Miller. This reassuring, consoling book includes quotations that will validate your feelings and encourage your growth.
*"How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies" by Therese Rando. This books offers guidance to help you accept your loss and move into your new life without forgetting your treasured past.
Call the New River Valley Hospice, 381-5001, if you have problems locating these books.
LENGTH: Medium: 58 linesby CNB