ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, February 2, 1997 TAG: 9702010002
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 9 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: GRAND FORKS, N.D.
SOURCE: GAIL STEWART HAND KNIGHT-RIDDER/TRIBUNE
Rick Gessler is helping birth a fathers' movement in Grand Forks.
United Hospital in Grand Forks was the first hospital in the country to emulate what was then called Bootie Camp. It's a program geared toward expectant fathers, with an aim that they ``hit the ground crawling,'' Gessler jokes.
After being featured in various national health publications, Gessler will travel the countryside helping other hospitals set up the fatherhood classes.
The format takes the focus off the usual experts and spotlights the real experts: veteran dads.
Since the inception of the classes a year ago, some of the student dads have returned as veterans. They come with their darling daughters and beautiful boys and share how to handle the baby, how to change its pants, how to master the art of burping.
Burping appeals to males' sense of competition and thrill of conquering, Gessler said.
``There are some schools of thought that burping isn't absolutely necessary, but it gives dads something constructive to do, and the baby is more comfortable,'' he says. ``Say you're working the baby and then - Boom! There's the burp, and the dad feels like he's made a score.''
One concern that he hadn't anticipated was how the family dog would react to the baby. Since the expectant dads are in their ultraprotective mode, they're concerned for the comfort of the growing family. Veteran dads have shared these tips to make Fido family friendly: Sprinkle baby powder around the house before the baby is born so the smell isn't foreign. After the baby comes, bring home a soiled diaper so the baby's scent becomes familiar. Practice walking around the house with a doll, so Lady will be good when you've got the real thing. All veteran dads have reported that their pooches have become protective of their babies.
The group talks about whatever the men assembled have on their minds. Gessler says his role is limited, but as a former nurse, he steers them toward how to be caring and helpful to their mates. She's bound to be exhausted and overwhelmed and needs her partner to not just share half the load but to ward off intrusions.
``For example, I tell them to put all the information about the new birth on the answering machine, and tell the callers that as soon as you're not so busy you'll be in touch,'' Gessler says.
Like learning anything new, the more dads know about normal developments the easier it is to handle them. For example, the men talk about intimacy after birth.
``Everyone thinks that if the woman has had an episiotomy, then you wait six weeks and then - a magic lightbulb goes off. What I didn't realize is that my wife was exhausted. She was dealing with physical healing and the emotional changes of becoming a mom and all the adjustments of having a baby. I just didn't understand that. It's real common for dads to feel rejected'' when a new mom isn't interested in lovemaking.
Gessler's advice: Don't take it personally, guys. ``I put a lot of pressure on my wife and felt really dejected. But it's going to take a lot longer than six weeks for your marriage to be back on an even keel. Your whole life is turned upside down by having a baby.''
One of the most rewarding things in the class is hearing veteran dads express their enthusiasm for their babies. ``They talk about bonding, which is falling in love. Many come back and talk about the intensity of the bond with their own child. Before, they could never have imagined it.''
LENGTH: Medium: 68 linesby CNB