ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, February 7, 1997 TAG: 9702070027
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
Is nothing sacred? Apparently not. Taken from the Internet are these bloopers from church bulletins:
Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
Thursday night - potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward. ...
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ``What Is Hell?'' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
Eight new choir robes are needed, because of the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The associate minister unveiled the new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ``I upped my pledge - up yours.''
LENGTH: Short : 36 linesby CNB