ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1997, Roanoke Times

DATE: Thursday, April 17, 1997               TAG: 9704170020
SECTION: AT WORK                  PAGE: B-1  EDITION: METRO 
COLUMN: WORKING IT OUT
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER

IF BOSS WON'T GIVE YOU BREAK, GIVE YOURSELF ONE

Q. My boss physically stands over me while I work. I've said I welcome his review of my work when I'm done, but am uncomfortable with his presence while I'm working. Working with him causes me to make more mistakes and doubt my capabilities. He finds errors in everything I do - even in how darkly I write.

He constantly insults my intelligence. For example, in explaining how to number statements sequentially he gave me examples suggesting I wouldn't understand that "2" follows "1."

A. Take your unhappiness as a signal to become proactive, rather than reactive, in giving your working relationship new direction.

If you don't respect your boss, body language and tone of voice will convey that to him. He may be reacting to that as much as to your work. Change your approach and he may change his.

Emotionally distance yourself from your boss. Set goals to keep your perspective, to regain your sense of humor and to best him at his own game.

For example, keep work back. When your boss approaches, tell him you have work you'd like him to review. Suggest he do it at his desk, so he's undistracted.

When he notes ``errors,'' don't personalize them. If they are errors, you want the feedback; if they aren't, look for ways to prevent him from returning with that complaint. For example, use fine-line black markers rather than pens to ensure he can "see" your writing.

Regain your sense of humor. When he does something like over-demonstrating how to number, see it as his problem only. Share it after work with family - in the joking "guess what he did today?" tradition. In focusing on the tiniest details of your work, your boss is damaging his own career advancement. Don't let him damage yours.

CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER, -a Lexington sociologist, can be reached at 981-3100, ext. 498, or The Roanoke Times, Business News Department, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010.

LENGTH: Short :   45 lines