THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
                 Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, June 20, 1994                    TAG: 9406180023 
SECTION: DAILY BREAK                     PAGE: E1    EDITION: FINAL  
SOURCE: Larry Maddry 
DATELINE: 940620                                 LENGTH: Medium 

TAKE THIS TEST TO SEE IF YOU'D SCORE IN THE U.S. SENATE

Think about it: Free franking privileges, handsome furniture provided at taxpayer expense, and you get to vote on your own raises!

{REST} Yes, it's a job with very little heavy lifting, free stationery and your own hook in one of the world's nicest coat rooms.

It's quite possible you have what it takes to be a U.S. senator from Virginia without realizing it. So now is the time to take the Larry Maddry U.S. Senate Political Aptitude Test.

See if you are fit to join one of the world's oldest clubs by taking the quick and easy test below. The questions are weighted from 0 to 5. Simply circle the number that most closely reflects your attitude. 0 indicates a negative or indifferent response and 5 indicates an exact match with your feeling.

\ 0 1 2 3 4 5 When I receive a back rub from someone who is not my wife on a hotel room bed, I do not really believe I am being unfaithful.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I have always yearned to lead a parade while seated in a town fire truck.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 The majority of my former colleagues believe I am a compulsive liar.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 My bladder is huge and easily controlled during long and boring meetings.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I think Vince Lombardi had it wrong. Losing isn't bad. Losing is everything.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I speak nonsense with such conviction I sometimes believe it myself.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I enjoy traveling out of the state and would see nothing wrong with holding one office while campaigning for another *

job even though unqualified and unwanted for it.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I am physically fit and can wave the flag and the Bible at the same time.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 Next to holding office, I am best at holding a grudge.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 I like to set a tone in my office so that if there is an illegal violation of another's privacy, I am unlikely to know about it.

0 1 2 3 4 5 When I pass a shredding machine, my palms itch.

*

0 1 2 3 4 5 My views on ``right to life'' have been inconsistent because I thought we were talking about a magazine subscription.

\ SCORE\ (50-45 points: You are highly qualified to be a senatorial candidate. 45-30 points: You should run for Congress. 30-0: Forget public office.) by CNB