THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Friday, July 22, 1994 TAG: 9407210191
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 04 EDITION: FINAL
SOURCE: BY THOMAS PEAR, CORRESPONDENT
LENGTH: Medium: 85 lines
Sometimes it's the loss of a family pet.
Other times it's a teenage romance that's fizzled.
And then there are matters of life and death when someone's contemplating suicide.
Whatever the problem, those who are hurting can pick up the phone on any day of the week between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m. and dial 428-2211 to reach Contact Tidewater, a Virginia Beach-based counseling hot line.
The free service was started 20 years ago by the Rev. John Jordan of Galilee Episcopal Church, the Rev. John Lisle of First Presbyterian Church of Virginia Beach, and William Hedrick, director of Tidewater Pastoral Counseling Services.
``We talk to anybody who's in a crisis,'' said counselor Bette Collings, who has volunteered at the non-denominational agency for 18 years and recently retired as executive director. She now serves as office manager for the organization, which is housed in an undisclosed location in Virginia Beach.
Relying solely on private contributions, Contact Tidewater fields between 12,000 and 15,000 crisis calls annually.
Crises range from bouts of loneliness to serious emotional problems.
``Someone can lose their pet and be in a real severe grief stage,'' said Myreta Holbert, who is beginning her 20th year as a counselor for Contact Tidewater and is the organization's training director. Sometimes a pet owner has to go through the same mourning period as someone who loses a sibling or spouse.
What constitutes a crisis is left to the caller.
Joan Rickman, who has been a phone counselor for 15 years, once talked a caller out of suicide.
After the caller swallowed a bottle of pills because his ex-wife would not let him visit his children, Rickman kept him on the phone long enough for rescue workers to reach him. Rickman told the caller that he would never see his children again if he killed himself.
``It had a very happy ending,'' she said. ``We're just here as telephone counselors to get the caller through the crisis he is going through.''
About 50 volunteers stretch themselves to cover 120 shifts each week.
``We definitely need more,'' said Collings.
Fridays are usually the busiest. While most residents are gearing up for a weekend of picnics, movies and other outings, those facing hardships see social services and other relief organizations closing.
That means their chances of getting help during the 64 hours between 5 p.m. Friday and 9 a.m. Monday are difficult. Many times police and local authorities will refer callers to Contact Tidewater.
Others in need of counseling hear about Contact Tidewater from word-of-mouth or advertisements.
Rickman said the time she volunteers as a counselor helps her to take her own problems into perspective.
``No matter what I'm going through, there are always people who have a life that's unbelievably hard,'' she said. ``People that are trying to handle more than is humanly possible and can't see any way out.'' Sometimes Contact Tidewater gets calls from people who are caring for a terminally ill family member, have enormous bills to pay and are jobless.
For Holbert, the counseling serves as a means to reach out through her Christian faith and help others. She pointed out that Jesus Christ healed and counseled the down-and-out.
``It gets you out of yourself,'' Holbert said.
Although most callers are suffering from emotional problems, many are just lonely, and the counselors make reassurance calls to the elderly and shut-ins to let them know someone cares.
One elderly woman named Katie wrote the counselors a thank-you note after they helped her through the emotional loss of seeing her niece slowly deteriorate and die from Hodgkin's Disease.
``Thank you for your comforting- listening ears,'' she wrote. ``You have helped so very much.'' MEMO: COUNSELORS NEEDED
Contact Tidewater needs additional phone counselors. Volunteers must
complete a six-week training class that meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays
from 7 to 10 p.m. beginning Aug. 16. For more information, call
428-2211. ILLUSTRATION: Photo by THOMAS PEAR
Joan Rickman, a telephone counselor for 15 years, says she once
talked a caller out of suicide.
by CNB