THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Saturday, November 12, 1994 TAG: 9411120016
SECTION: DAILY BREAK PAGE: E8 EDITION: FINAL
TYPE: Religion
SOURCE: Betsy Wright
LENGTH: Medium: 87 lines
JUDGING FROM the response to last week's column, many people were touched by the young woman who wrote about her sexual abuse and her questions to God.
Rarely have I seen such loving, kind response. Almost all of the 20-some letters, calls, faxes and computer messages sent heartfelt words of solace. Almost all - with the notable exception of one angry caller who refused to leave his name - felt my words were on target.
I am making copies of all the responses - after deleting names where requested - and will send them to the young woman. I believe they will help her in her struggle to make peace with God. They certainly were a comfort to me.
From Robin Guenthner of Virginia Beach: ``I too was sexually abused for years and I too gave up on God. I know exactly what that young woman is going through. Although God did not stop the abuse while it was happening, I feel he intervened later in my life in ways that made it possible for me to heal. I believe he led me to my husband who has been so supportive and instrumental in my healing. Ironically, I met him through one of my abusers. He also intervened by leading me to a wonderful therapist.
``I do not go to church, and I don't consider myself religious, but I have a spiritual relationship with God. I also want to point out that I was not able to work on my spirituality until I worked on my anger. It takes a long time to get through the hurt, anger and pain; however, I know that because of my intense soul-searching and what I have been through, I am perhaps mentally healthier and more grateful for my happiness than most people.
``Please tell this woman not to give up and that she can't find answers about God from others because she and God have a relationship like no other.''
From Rabbi Israel Zoberman of Congregation Beth Chaverim in Virginia Beach: ``Grappling with God may result in more questions than answers though it is surely a worthy holy exercise, addressing a significant human need. Allowing the Transcendent Presence to impact our lives does not alter the basic human condition; we remain subject to forces that at times are beyond our control, but we are also empowered to reach deep within us for perception, endurance and resolution. We may even discern a Guiding Hand that joins together the pieces of our life's puzzle, conferring meaning and purpose upon us.
``The road of faith, like that of life, is an uneven one, with lows as well as highs. Hopefully each of us will come to conclude that both are a precious, irreplaceable journey.''
From Lindsay Young: ``Your column really hit me today. Never before has your column moved me this much. (Especially your words): `Even though I gave up on God, he never let go of me.'
``For the past three years since my little son died, I have been angry at God. My son's death was unexplained, just like SIDS. Not only do we not know why God allowed it to happen, we don't even know medically why Alex died.
``Nevertheless, I have seen the actions that God has taken in our lives. Things have happened to us that are so wonderful that one can only attribute it to the goodness of God.
``So you are right. Even when we turn our back on God, he still is there, loving us.''
From Kay Mirpuri of Norfolk: ``Instead of wondering why, we have to take the time to understand why. (This young woman) has to accept that what happened was meant to be. All our personal experiences, good or bad, if understood properly, will serve to dissolve that pattern of doubt.
``She also needs to accept that she was not responsible (for her abuse). She did not bring it upon herself.
``Last, she must look back through her past and see how that particular experience served her in her life. If she can find whatever good that experience brought into her life, she is on her way to becoming whole and she will never need another `authority' to find answers to the deeply personal issues of her life.''
Readers also suggested books and articles about the question of suffering. Tony Slapikas of Chesapeake urged me to get Paul Brunton's 1952 book, ``The Spiritual Crisis in Modern Man.'' Elaine Morton of Norfolk sent me a copy of ``Are You Listening God? (I need you)'' by Joan Bel Geddes. And John Graham, Jr. of Portsmouth sent the November copy of ``The Watchtower' magazine with a cover story, `Why Does God Permit Human Suffering?'' Thank you all for your suggestions. I'll read what was sent and look up the Brunton book. MEMO: Every other week, Betsy Mathews Wright publishes responses to her
opinion column. Send responses to Issues of Faith, The Virginian-Pilot,
150 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk, Va. 23510; call (804) 446-2273; FAX
(804) 436-2798; or send e-mail to bmw(AT)infi.net. Deadline is Tuesday
before publication. You must include name, city and phone number.
by CNB