THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 4, 1994 TAG: 9412020228
SECTION: VIRGINIA BEACH BEACON PAGE: 07 EDITION: FINAL
COLUMN: On the Street
SOURCE: Bill Reed
LENGTH: Medium: 70 lines
The Sage of 17th Street hasn't been heard from in a long time. That's because he's been spending much of his time in Sarasota, Fla., where the sun warms his old bones year-round.
But this fall he had a sudden hankering to return to the Beach, where he was born and raised and where the spot and the blue crabs play. So, he packed his duffel bag, hopped a passing freight and headed home.
As always, the Sage has kept up with current events - local, state, national and worldwide. While sipping coffee from a paper cup each morning, he thumbs through old newspapers that are tossed into his new place of residence, the trash dumpster a block from the Oceanfront.
This daily reading enables the Sage to give you up-to-date stock market quotes, the latest bon mot from the lips of Bob Dole or Newt Gingrich or the most recent wisdom of bowl-bound college football coaches, whose players graduate from the offices of orthopedic surgeons or the slammer but not the classroom.
The Sage's special interest these days is news about the strenuous effort that politicos in Richmond and Washington are making to cut government waste and interference in the lives of ordinary folk like his brother, Julius, the hair stylist, or his sister, Fertile Irma, who has six kids, three cats and a husband who works at the corner burger joint when he feels like it.
One day, not long ago, front page headlines in the daily paper screamed that the governor is removing the tolls from the Virginia Beach-Norfolk Expressway.
This caused the Sage's eyes to bug out in total wonder. ``Hallelujah!'' he hollered as he read further that Tidewater motorists will be freed from the iron fetters of road tolls and the amoebalike government bureaucracy that it spawns. There were hearty ``amens'' all around, especially from local politicos who expect to make hay in the next election from the governor's announcement.
Even though toll money pays for the upkeep of the expressway and is financed only by expressway users, this financial load must be removed from the backs of overburdened citizens as soon as possible, the governor harumphed and another chorus of ``amens'' followed.
Although the governor and local pols promise faithfully that regular state highway funds will be used to fill the pot holes in the expressway once the tolls are removed, the Sage, for the life of him, cannot square the pledge with other news that he gleaned from the newspapers.
For instance, a legislator from the western part of the state says there is not enough money in the treasury, even if you threw West Virginia and North Carolina taxes into the pot, to build all the streets and highways needed in Virginia. To hustle up the loot, this wise solon suggests enlisting the aid of private enterprise to build the byways, then pay for them through tolls.
The next day, the Sage read another newspaper story that said plans to complete a $1 billion extension to U.S. 58 - known locally as ``suicide strip'' - may fall $500 million short of covering construction costs. There is not enough dough in the state piggy bank to take care of the tab.
This left the Sage scratching the thinning hair under his felt fedora. If state bigwigs can't scrape up the cash to pay for high-dollar highways like U.S. 58, how in the name of Jesse Helms can they come up with the chump change to pay for expressway maintenance? he asked himself aloud.
Since there was no answer, except the occasional cry of a passing sea gull, the Sage merely shrugged his bony shoulders and continued to thumb through the old newspapers piled at his side.
``Why should I worry?'' he asked himself wearily. ``They got it all figured out in Richmond.'' by CNB