THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT
Copyright (c) 1994, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: Sunday, December 4, 1994 TAG: 9412020258
SECTION: SUFFOLK SUN PAGE: 04 EDITION: FINAL
LENGTH: Medium: 84 lines
- Phyllis Speidell Tuesday, Nov. 22
9 a.m. - Suffolk Police headquarters, Wellons StreetWritten at the bottom of a crime report filed Nov. 5 with the Suffolk Police Department:
``Unknown suspect entered the above location by the rear door . . . and removed one (1) five-foot-long red-tailed boa constrictor snake, value $750. The snake answers to the name Del-Q.''
- Robert Little Wednesday, Nov. 23
10:30 a.m. - Suffolk Circuit CourtThe man has been waiting almost an hour, through all the tedium, ennui and judicial formality of an average morning in the halls of justice. Finally, the judge calls his name.
The man, well-dressed in coat and tie and seemingly out of place among the other defendants, is there to appeal a misdemeanor conviction from a lower court. He wants the judge to give him a court-appointed attorney.
The prosecutor objects.
``This man owns a home, and he and his wife both work,'' he tells the judge.
But like anyone else trying to enlist the service of the Public Defender's Office, the man is asked to fill out an application listing his assets, income and other information.
``You don't qualify,'' the judge says, after just one glance at the man's application.
``Your honor,'' the man says in protest, explaining that net worth and cash on hand are hardly the same thing.
But the judge calls the next case.
``You'd be surprised,'' he says to the man, ``how many people come in here who make a lot less than $95,000 a year.''
- Robert Little Tuesday, Nov. 29
3:40 p.m. - Farm Fresh, SuffolkTwo toddlers perched in a grocery cart - a little boy up front and his sister in the back - watch in wide-eyed wonder as a clerk dips a net into the large, rectangular tank and captures a customer's dinner.
For the moment, the show is better than seeing Santa, then the youngsters' father starts to turn the cart around to finish his shopping.
``I want to look at that,'' says the little girl, pointing at the lobster as the grocery clerk plops the shellfish into a large plastic bag filled with water.
Finally, though, the entertainment ends as the customer walks away with the miniature aquarium.
- Susie Stoughton Wednesday, Nov. 30
11:30 a.m. - A downtown Suffolk office``Ikept looking at my calendar at home,'' the man says, ``and I said, `Well, Friday will be Dec. 1.' But then I noticed this calendar on my desk here, and according to this, today is the last day of November.''
Oops, whoever printed his personal calendar didn't remember that ``thirty days hath September, April, June and November.''
Maybe adding a day to November would help us all get ready for Christmas. But no one needs to lose a day at this time of year.
``That can screw you up real bad,'' the man says.
- Susie Stoughton ILLUSTRATION: Staff photo by JOHN H. SHEALLY II
A little humor hangs on the back door of a farm house in the land of
hogs and peanuts. It's not so funny to the
chickens, though.
by CNB